Tag: Relationships Scotland

Charity launches manifesto calling for prioritised support for positive relationships

Relationship breakdown estimated to cost Scotland £3.5 billion each year

Relationships Scotland, Scotland’s leading relationship support charity, has launched its manifesto ahead of the Scottish Parliament Elections, calling on the next Scottish Government and the new Parliament to prioritise support for positive relationships. 

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “Strong couple, family and social relationships are fundamental to thriving communities and to Scotland’s economic and social prosperity. Making good mental health a national priority is essential to sustaining these relationships.

“We are calling on the next Scottish Government and all policymakers to invest in a preventative, cross-sector approach, including early intervention and policies that support children and families from the outset.

“Relationship breakdown is estimated to cost Scotland £3.5 billion each year, so investing at an early stage not only delivers a social good, but clear value for the people of Scotland.”

Relationships Scotland’s key asks ahead of the election include: 

  • Investing in prevention, early intervention and recovery for mental health that focuses on cross-sectoral working and collaboration, making good mental health and wellbeing a shared national priority.
  • Expanding future policies that impact on children and families to highlight the vital role relationships play in ensuring the best opportunities and outcomes in life. 
  • Guaranteeing the availability of counselling, mediation, child contact centres and other family support services across the country through increased funding to ensure this support is available for all people in their local communities across Scotland.
  • Applying the provisions in the Children (Scotland) Act 2020 to increase uptake of family mediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) as an alternative to court action in family cases.

Evidence shows that relationship breakdown and family instability can lead to poverty, while also disproportionately impacting those already experiencing deprivation. Addressing relationship breakdown as a driver of poverty, and its role in deepening deprivation, must be a national priority and will support national efforts to reduce child poverty and improve long-term outcomes for children and young people. Providing early support for couples and families is critical to achieving these outcomes.

Stuart Valentine added: “It is vital that the services delivered by our 21 member organisations across Scotland are accessible to everyone, particularly those experiencing socio-economic disadvantage, and are provided without stigma or financial barriers.

“A cost benefit analysis last year indicated an average saving of £13.77 for every £1 spent on delivering our services.

“Addressing relationship breakdown as a driver of poverty, and recognising its role in deepening deprivation, is essential to supporting national efforts to reduce child poverty and improve long-term outcomes for children and young people.”

Relationships Scotland’s services are delivered via its network of 21 member services providing a range of  counselling, mediation, child contact services and other forms of family support across Scotland from the Highlands and Islands including Lerwick, Stornoway, Kirkwall, Inverness, and Oban, across the central belt as well as Dumfries and Galloway and the Scottish Borders. 

Relationships Scotland Manifesto – Scottish Elections 2026Download

Relationships Scotland Manifesto can be downloaded here. 

When Christmas stops being merry

Top tips for avoiding festive conflict from leading relationship support charity 

The festive period is supposed to be full of goodwill and kindness, but what happens when it stops being merry?  For many, Christmas can be extremely fraught, often resulting in conflict, with stress, financial worries and the pressures of expectation creating strain on relationships. 

Relationships Scotland, the largest provider of relationship support in the country, is offering advice to families and couples looking for a more peaceful Christmas. They say communication is key but don’t be afraid to seek help if everything becomes too much. 

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “Many people are at risk of setting high expectations of what Christmas should be like, but sadly for some the reality is far from magical.

“Financial pressure is one of the biggest sources of stress at this time of year, and this can very quickly manifest itself into conflict and relationship turmoil. 

“Our advice to families this Christmas is to focus on spending good quality time with your loved ones and don’t get into debt in the hope of having the perfect Christmas. If things do get too much, always remember that support is available, with relationship counselling and family mediation available across the country.”

Relationships Scotland is offering some top tips to look after your mental health during the festive period:

Set boundaries with family

There can be a lot of pressure to see every member of your family at Christmas time. However, it is important to set boundaries to ensure you have a happy Christmas. If you only feel comfortable spending 30 minutes with your parents or in-laws, set that boundary and stick to it.

Don’t compare yourself to social media

It is so easy to see Christmas content on social media platforms and feel overwhelmed by these expectations.

Extravagant door decorations, festive tablescapes can be beautiful but these are costly and unnecessary. When you look back at your Christmas memories, it is not the decorations you remember, it’s the fun and laughter.

Do what feels right for you

Christmas can be anything you want it to be. Although the traditional turkey and all the trimmings is lovely, cooking can be a stressful experience and not to everyone’s taste.

Why not do something out of the norm that makes you happy? Chuck some pizzas in the oven, order a Chinese takeaway, or graze on a cheeseboard. 

Relationships Scotland’s unique network of 21 Member Services operates in communities all over Scotland, from the Borders to Shetland and the Western Isles, ensuring it is able to meet the needs of families across the country. 

It provides high quality, specialist support services, working with children, young people, couples, individuals and families to help reduce conflict, improve communication and ensure that people are supported to manage times of relationship crisis and breakdown. 

Family Mediation Week: Parents urged to consider mediation as a way to build a positive future for their family

80% of parents who participated in mediation said communication with the other parent had improved

Parents living in Scotland are being urged to consider mediation as a way to resolve conflict and create a more positive future for their family. The calls come as Family Mediation Week gets underway, running from 27th to 31st January.

Relationships Scotland is the country’s leading relationship support charity. Figures from its  Measuring Outcomes Report 2023-24 show that 80% of parents who participated in mediation said communication with the other parent had improved, while 88% saw a reduction in conflict after mediation. Furthermore, 97% would recommend the process to others. 

Relationships Scotland is encouraging couples who are considering separation or divorce to seek an alternative to a courtroom confrontation to settle parenting arrangements.

January traditionally sees an increase in the number of parents deciding to live apart as the various pressures that go hand-in-hand with the Christmas period act as a final straw for their relationships.

Janie Law, Head of Practice for Mediation at Relationships Scotland said: “Often families who are experiencing challenges in their relationships will automatically think of court as their only option to resolve these difficult issues, but mediation can be hugely beneficial in helping separating couples agree what works for them, whilst avoiding the court process with all the stress, delay and cost it can bring.

“Family Mediation Week is about raising awareness of the benefits of mediation as a way of helping parents make decisions together, which can result in more positive outcomes for the whole family that would be the case with court action.

“Here in Scotland we find that parents in this position simply don’t know which way to turn. Their life-changing decision to separate brings with it so many tough questions: Where will the children live, and how will we make sure we each spend time with them? How will we sort out the money issues? What about debts and pensions? And even the family pet?” 

Family mediation is a process where an independent, professionally-trained mediator helps separating or separated couples work these things out, enabling them to avoid courtroom confrontation. Professional mediators help empower families to take control of their individual circumstances, rather than leaving it to a court to make decisions on their behalf.

A parent who has been using mediation added: “We are talking in mediation now. It’s completely changed days between us.

“I couldn’t have imagined us being able to do that when we started. We can be civil now and focus on the children together.”

The Scottish Government fund Relationships Scotland to provide family mediation at low cost where children are involved, and Legal Aid may also be available.

Anyone wanting to know more about the benefits of family mediation can visit www.relationships-scotland.org.uk or call 0345 119 2020.

Family Mediation Week takes place from Monday 27 – Friday 31 January 2025.

Leading relationship support charity urges couples to seek help on Divorce Day

Experts advise against making hasty decisions about the future after a challenging Christmas 

Relationships Scotland, Scotland’s leading relationship support charity, is urging couples not to make hasty decisions about their future if they’ve had a difficult time over Christmas.

The first working Monday of the year, known as Divorce Day, is often the time when there’s a surge in people looking to leave their partner and enter into a formal separation agreement. This is often the result of the emotional pressures and expense of Christmas, which can push couples to breaking point as the New Year starts.

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “The festive season can put a huge strain on relationships where families typically spend more time together with normal routines disrupted, creating a far higher potential for stress and arguments to erupt.

“As we approach what is now known as Divorce Day, we would urge couples not to be hasty in making decisions about the future but instead seek help to discuss the issues which are causing problems within the relationship.

“Often the advice and support from a trained counsellor can be the difference between a family staying together, or becoming another January divorce statistic.

“Where couples do decide to separate, we also have family mediators across the country who can help separating parents agree the future living arrangements for their children, ensuring both parents keep in contact with their kids after they split up where possible.”

The total number of divorces granted in Scotland in 2022-23 was 7,488, a slight drop from the 8,249 in 2021-22 but still significantly higher than the 5,698 granted in 2020-21.

Stuart Valentine added: “While Christmas will be a time of happiness for many, the pressure it brings can be too much for an already fragile relationship.

“Relationships Scotland understands the importance of positive and resilient relationships and the damage caused by relationship breakdown if not handled properly, especially for children.

“We hope couples experiencing difficulties will think about accessing support through counselling or mediation, before heading to the courts seeking divorce.”

Monday 6th January, National Divorce Day, reportedly sees a significant spike in divorce enquiries. Eleanor Levy, Chief Commercial Officer at now:pensions comments: “Pensions are often one of the largest and in some cases the second most valuable asset in a marriage after a home, yet they are frequently overlooked during divorce settlements.

“Sharing these savings could play a huge role in narrowing the gender pensions gap, as today women retire on average with pension savings of £69,000, compared to £205,000 for men*.

“It is essential women understand this when settlement terms are being negotiated. Ignoring these savings can leave one spouse with insufficient funds, ultimately undermining their financial stability for decades to come.”

*Source: now:pensions gender-pensions-gap-report-24.pdf

Parents facing separation urged to avoid courtroom conflict as Family Mediation Week kicks off in Scotland

Parents facing separation urged to avoid courtroom conflict as Family Mediation Week kicks off in Scotland

Parents living in Scotland who are considering separation or divorce in 2024 are being urged to seek an alternative to a courtroom confrontation to settle parenting arrangements, with the launch of Family Mediation Week, 22 – 26 January. 

January usually sees a dramatic rise in the number of parents deciding to live apart as the various pressures that go hand-in-hand with the Christmas period act as a final straw for relationships.

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “Family Mediation Week is designed to raise awareness of the benefits of family mediation, a process that can help ex-partners agree what works for them, whilst avoiding the court process with all the stress, delay and cost it can bring.

“Many parents emerge from the festive period feeling defeated by the pressures on relationships and finances that have been highlighted during the holiday period.

“Here in Scotland we find parents in this position simply don’t know which way to turn. Their life-changing decision to separate brings with it so many tough questions: Who lives where? Where will the children live, and how will we make sure we each spend time with them? How will we sort money? What about debts and pensions? And even the family dog?

“Family Mediation Week shines a helpful spotlight on these tricky issues, offering separating parents information about their options as they look to make arrangements for parenting, property and finance.

“Family mediation is a process where an independent, professionally-trained mediator helps you work these things out, enabling you to avoid courtroom confrontation. Professional mediators help empower you to create long-term solutions for your particular circumstances, rather than leaving it to a court to make decisions for your family.”

The Scottish Government fund Relationships Scotland to provide family mediation at low cost where children are involved, and Legal Aid may also be available.

Anyone wanting to know more about the benefits of family mediation can visit:

 www.relationships-scotland.org.uk or call 0345 119 2020.

Increased support offered to Scottish families in relationship crisis across the country

Latest figures from Relationships Scotland show continued fallout from pandemic and cost of living crisis are having a negative impact on family life

Support for Scottish families seeking help to deal with relationship difficulties and family breakdown has increased by almost 40% in the last year, according to Relationships Scotland.

Relationships Scotland, the largest provider of relationship support in the country, has published its Annual Review highlighting the increase in support being offered to couples with relationship problems.

The figures for 2022/23 show that across the charity’s network of 21 member services, 86,000 hours of direct support were delivered, increasing from 62,000 the previous year. The figures also show the network provided support to over 14,400 people across the country, up from 13,850 in 2021/22.

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “There is no doubt the pandemic and the cost of living crisis have put a strain on families and relationships, and these figures are a stark reminder of how acute this strain is.

“This is a significant increase in hours of support across the whole country, and while it paints a worrying picture of the pressures being felt across the nation, we are encouraged that people feel they have somewhere to turn, and are seeking help to deal with these issues.”

The Relationships Scotland network has a strong focus on early intervention and prevention, working with families as early as possible to support them to look at the issues they are facing and helping them avoid problems spiralling. The work of the 21 member services across the country is supported by around 900 people, including over 400 volunteers.

Stuart Valentine added: “The importance of positive and resilient relationships can not be underestimated, with the damage caused by relationship breakdown estimated to cost the Scottish economy around £3.5b each year.”

Pressure on relationships rising due to cost of living crisis

Family mediation experts offer advice on choosing a relationship counsellor

As the cost of living crisis puts pressure on relationships, experts encourage people to reach out for help before relationships break down completely.

Relationships Scotland, the largest provider of relationship support in the country, is offering advice to anyone looking to embark on counselling. The leading family mediation experts say there are five key questions to ask before choosing a relationships counsellor.

Stuart Valentine, Chief Executive of Relationships Scotland said: “Making the decision to seek help to deal with relationship issues is not easy, it can be a daunting process admitting you need help, let alone navigating the many different options available.

“Relationships Scotland strives to offer couples and individuals a safe space to discuss their concerns and our five step guide aims to make taking the first step as easy as possible.”

Relationships Scotland says anyone thinking about counselling should ask the following five questions:

Are they trained to work with relationships?

Before you begin counselling it is important to establish the level of your counsellor’s training and their experience. In recent years it is usual for a counsellor to do either a one-year full time or a two-year part-time course. It is also important to find out what areas of relationships the counsellor can work with. It is especially important to check that the counsellor is qualified to work with couples, if you hope to go to counselling with your partner.

Is there someone checking that they are working to the right standards?

Relationships Scotland counsellors are required to undertake a minimum number of hours of casework per year. They are also required to participate in clinical supervision with a supervisor who is experienced in couple work. This helps ensure that all of counsellors are properly trained and supported in their work.

What will they do with the information I give them?

Your counsellor will discuss confidentiality with you and where there might limits on this confidentiality, such as when someone might be at risk. This is to ensure your safety and the safety of others.

Where will I see the counsellor?

Relationships Scotland has over 200 counsellors covering the whole of mainland and island

Scotland. Face-to-face and online appointments are available and there will be a service covering your area.

Will there be a charge?

All Relationships Scotland affiliated local services that provide relationship counselling receive some funding from the Scottish Government. This does not cover all the costs, however, and so some services may ask for a donation or may make a charge, depending on income.

If you are on low income, please let the service know and they work with you to make sure you receive the support you need.

Stuart Valentine added: “Relationships Scotland understands the importance of positive and resilient relationships and the damage which relationship breakdown can cause if not handled properly, especially for children.

“We want to make counselling as accessible and as helpful as possible for anyone needing this type of support.”