Space to Remember those we have loved
Time to Grieve at Drylaw Church
Tag: grief
Co-op warns of pending grief pandemic across Edinburgh
- Co-op Funeralcare estimates 9.7 million mourners have been denied the opportunity to say their last goodbye at their loved one’s funeral
- With only 50% of funerals proceeding with restricted attendance over lockdown, Scotland ranks one of the highest in the UK for funerals that went ahead
- Just 4% said that someone visiting them was the most comforting thing that someone did for them when experiencing a bereavement in Scotland
- 59% of bereaved UK adults said lockdown had negatively impacted their grief process
- A further 61% of bereaved UK adults, who have experienced a bereavement during lockdown, said that nothing has helped them to grieve
Co-op has released a report which reveals the devastating impact lockdown has had on Edinburgh’s ability to grieve and warns the region could yet face a grief pandemic.
An online YouGov survey, commissioned by the UK’s leading funeral provider Co-op Funeralcare, shows that in the weeks following the start of the UK’s lockdown on 23rd March, 50% of bereaved adults in Edinburgh have been denied their final farewell.
Although a necessary measure to protect our nation during the coronavirus pandemic, the restrictions on the number of funeral attendees mean that many have been unable to attend their loved one’s funeral, with some councils prohibiting any attendees at crematoriums and gravesides.
When asked about the most important way to say goodbye, 42% of UK adults chose being present when their loved one passes away, whilst 33% chose attending a funeral or memorial service. Sadly, in a bid to slow the spread of Covid-19, neither of these goodbyes have been an option for an estimated 243,000 bereaved families.
Funerals play an intrinsic part in the grieving process, and by being unable to attend, many have been unable to grieve the loss of their loved one. The survey revealed that37% of mourners have been unable to pay their respects by attending a funeral service, whilst 45% of people said the funeral went ahead, or will go ahead, with restricted attendance in person only.
A harrowing estimate of more than 133,000 bereaved families who have lost a loved one during lockdown said their grief process has been negatively affected by the restrictions in place, with over three fifths (61%) saying that nothing in particular has helped them to grieve. This inability to grieve at present means the nation could experience a prolonged period of mourning for months, or even years, to come.
David Collingwood, Director of Funerals at Co-op Funeralcare said: “A funeral provides a sense of closure for bereaved families and is very often the start of the grieving process.
“Sadly, the recent restrictions mean an estimated 243,000 bereaved families across the UK and thousands across Edinburgh have been denied the right to say goodbye to loved ones in the way they would have wished.
“We completely supported the need to introduce these restrictions at the beginning of the devasting Coronavirus pandemic in the UK. We had to make some tough but responsible decisions to protect our colleagues and clients, and to fulfil our social responsibility of slowing the spread of the disease.
“Tragically, we don’t yet know what the long-term psychological effects will be for families denied the last opportunity to say goodbye, so it is vital that we do everything possible to allow families and individuals to attend funerals, whilst always prioritising the health and safety of our communities.”
Co-op Foundation has partnered with Co-op Funeralcare to deliver grants of up to £10,000 for projects that help young people to support each other through bereavement.
Organisations can express their interest in the Co-op Foundation #iwill Fund until 31 July. The funding will help build confidence, skills and a sense of belonging among young bereaved people, while helping them to make a long-term impact on their peers who have gone through similar experiences.
In Co-op Funeralcare’s Biggest Ever Survey in 2018, 81% of respondents said they hadn’t saved anything towards their funeral, and 8% admitted to experiencing financial hardship due to paying for the funeral of a loved one.
Co-op understands the impact financial worries can have on those trying to navigate the grieving process, so has extended the financial support available through its own Funeralcare Hardship Fund.
The fund which was launched in April as part of the Co-op Members Coronavirus Fundhas allowed Co-op’s 4.6 million members to donate their unspent existing member rewards. The Hardship Fund provides a grant of £250 to anyone[6] who is in financial hardship and arranging a funeral for a loved one who died as a result of coronavirus, or a coronavirus related illness.
Andy Langford, Cruse Bereavement Care Clinical Director said: “The coronavirus pandemic has meant it is an incredibly distressing time to be grieving, whenever your bereavement occurred.
“Many people have been grieving in isolation, unable to attend funerals, say goodbye, and be close to those they love. When you feel you have no control over how you can experience those last moments with someone, this can have a profound impact on the grieving process.”
Whilst grief itself is not a mental health problem, it can cause mental health problems for some of us. Co-op is working with its partners Mind, SAMH and Inspire to encourage those affected by grief to access support from bereavement charities before their mental health deteriorates.
Stephen Buckley, Head of Information at Mind said: “The loss of a loved one during the pandemic is leaving many people struggling with grief. In most cases, grief is not a diagnosable mental health problem. It is absolutely normal that grief places strain on our everyday lives and it can take a long time to adapt to life after a loss.
“If you feel that your mental health is suffering following a bereavement beyond the stages of grief or if you have an existing mental health problem that is being worsened following a bereavement and you’re struggling to cope, it’s important to seek help, speak to a loved one, GP or contact a bereavement charity.”
For more information, please visit: https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/nationinmourning
BPS advice on supporting each other at work following the death of a colleague
Grief at any time is difficult and painful and even under normal circumstances the death of a colleague can be challenging and represent a significant loss.
The realities of Covid-19 means that there are additional challenges for people mourning the death of a colleague due to the lack of access to support from friends, family and colleagues.
The British Psychological Society’s Covid-19 bereavement task force has launched a new document, ‘Supporting each other following the death of a colleague’, to help people understand their feelings and reaction if they do lose a colleague during this time.
Professor Nichola Rooney, chair of the task force, said: “Sadly, many people have been bereaved during the Covid-19 pandemic, with some grieving the death of a colleague.
“We spend a lot of time at work and often form close bonds with people we work with, so losing a colleague at a time when we may not have our usual support networks can be particularly difficult.”
The booklet gives advice on how to cope with returning to work following the death of a colleague and encourages employees to take advantage of the support that is available to them and allowing for the fact that work may be affected by the grieving process.
It encourages people to take the opportunity to consider marking the death through a memorial at either at work or at home, if that is someone’s current workplace, but also to plan for other remembrance activities in the future once the current crisis abates.
The guidance is part of a suite of resources produced by the BPS’s Covid-19 bereavement task force, aimed at helping people manage their grief during the Coronavirus pandemic.
Care home staff and residents need support to manage their grief during Covid-19
Care home providers need to consider how they can provide support for their staff and residents during the Covid-19 pandemic, as they are likely to be experiencing significant concern and potentially grieving for residents who have died.
Covid-19 is causing thousands of deaths in UK care homes, so the British Psychological Society has launched new guidance to help staff and residents cope with this particularly frightening time.
Professor Nichola Rooney, chair of the BPS’s Covid-19 bereavement task force, said: “We have all seen distressing news reports and figures about the experience of our care homes during the Covid-19 pandemic.
“Staff are doing all that they can to protect and comfort residents at an extremely distressing time, and it’s vital that managers give them the support that they need to provide this and to cope with their own grief and concerns
“I hope that this guidance is useful for care home staff, residents and their friends and family in navigating what is an unprecedented and often harrowing time.”
While staff working in a care home may have experienced residents dying before, the guidance says that this does not make each death any easier to cope with, and that staff often develop close relationships with people that they care for.
It suggests that the contagious nature of Covid-19, requiring staff to wear personal protective equipment when dealing with residents, means that some may feel they are unable to provide the comfort to people that they would want.
Care home managers can help staff by making sure that they are given regular opportunities to talk about how they’re feeling, and accommodate regular and frequent breaks. They can consider ways that staff can collectively remember residents who have died, and celebrate their lives.
Care home residents can often face a range of challenges depending on possible medical conditions, and even those in later stages of dementia will be affected by changes in the care home’s day-to-day life.
Staff need to make sure that they maintain communication with residents, even when it feels like this is always to bring sad news. They should explain why changes, such as staff having to wear PPE, are important.
The guidance should be read alongside ‘Supporting yourself and others: coping with death and grief during the Covid-19 pandemic’. They were both produced by the BPS’s Covid-19 bereavement task force.
Supporting each other through loss and bereavement
The British Psychological Society has published a document on helping one another to cope with death and grief, at a time when many people are experiencing the loss of a friend or family member due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
It has also released two videos, offering advice on using technology to speak to loved ones who are ill and planning your digital legacy.
Losing a loved one under any circumstances is one of the most difficult emotional experiences that we go through, and it can be even tougher at a time when we have to self-isolate and socially distance from friends and family.
The leaflet ‘Supporting yourself and others: coping with death and grief during the Covid-19 pandemic’ explains the thoughts and feelings that people are likely to experience after a loved one dies, and the changes in behaviour that may result.
It discusses how people can cope with bereavement, acknowledging that everyone deals with loss in their own way, and gives tips on what can help, including:
- Using digital technology to keep in touch with friends and family
- Allowing themselves time and space to grieve
- Not rushing into decisions about possessions and personal effects
- Trying to stick to a healthy diet and engage in some form of exercise
Straightforward advice is also available for people who are supporting a loved one through their grief.
Measures to contain the spread of Coronavirus mean that many people are unable to say goodbye in person, so the BPS has also produced a video explaining how we can use technology to talk to ill loved ones who we are unable to visit.
It launches alongside a video on digital legacy planning, as many of us store practically important and sentimentally valuable information using technological devices.
If important material is stored on password-protected devices, it’s important for people to make sure that their families are able to access material should the worst happen.
Dr Elaine Kasket, a counselling psychologist and member of the BPS’s Covid-19 bereavement task force that has produced all three resources, presents both videos.
Bereavement Charter for Scotland launched
Scotland’s first Bereavement Charter for Children and Adults has been launched.
https://scottishcare.org/bereavement/
The Charter describes what good bereavement care and support should look like – even more important now with COVID-19.
People who are bereaved may not have been able to be with a person as they approach the end of their life and may be isolated from their usual networks of support.
It has also changed the traditional ways we are able to mark our grief. Traditional bereavement rituals and funerals have changed with many people now unable to attend funerals in the way that they might have in the past.
Many deaths have become sudden with little or no time to prepare.
Every death is unique and that the way we each come to terms with a death is individual. This Charter describes the difference good bereavement support can make.
Bereaved participants wanted for world’s first study into how funerals aid the grieving process
A national study, which is a world first, is aiming to find out whether it’s possible to measure the importance of a funeral in the grieving process – and anyone who has organised or attended a funeral at any time is being urged to participate. Continue reading Bereaved participants wanted for world’s first study into how funerals aid the grieving process