Tag: grief

UK Government takes action to crack down on rogue funeral operators

Urgent work to take place to protect bereaved families

  • Proposals for formal regulation of the funeral sector to be developed following harrowing case in Hull
  • DHSC to lead cross-government work to ensure that every person in every setting is treated with the respect they deserve in death.
  • Work will formally commence following the sentencing of criminal funeral director Robert Bush today
  • Regulation is already in place in Scotland

The UK government has announced urgent plans to crack down on rogue operators in the funeral sector and ensure better protection for bereaved families after the sentencing of Robert Bush yesterday.

Bush, of Legacy Independent Funeral Directors in Hull, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for a total of 67 charges, including the prevention of a lawful and decent burial, fraud, fraudulent trading, and theft.

The Department for Health and Social Care will now drive forward work alongside other government departments, including the Ministry of Justice and the Law Commission to crack down on rogue operators in the funeral sector, and to protect bereaved families against the heartbreak of having their loved ones mistreated in death.

This will include developing a range of detailed proposals to drive up standards, including regulation of the funeral sector. These will be drawn up in discussion with established operators, faith groups, families, and other stakeholders.

As part of this work, the Law Commission will undertake a review of the criminal law in relation to the deceased, consider any gaps in existing legal protections and make recommendations on the creation of new offences, if they are needed.

For bereaved families, there can be few things more painful than knowing a loved one was not treated properly after they died. The deceased cannot speak for themselves, which is why clear safeguards, stronger oversight and consistent standards are needed to protect their dignity and give families the reassurance they deserve.

Health and Social Care Secretary, Yvette Cooper said: “Robert Bush’s actions were utterly abhorrent, and my thoughts are with all the bereaved families in Hull who have been so badly let down.

“In the wake of this horrific case, we will now bring forward comprehensive proposals to ensure respect and dignity for the deceased in every setting, including proper regulation of the funeral sector. We are determined to drive rogue operators out of this industry, and protect other families from suffering this same heartache.

“Every person in every situation deserves dignity in death, and every bereaved family deserves certainty that their loved ones are being treated with care and respect.”

The Government will work closely with bereaved families, funeral providers, faith groups and others to ensure that future policy is proportionate, effective and informed by those with relevant experience. 

This will ensure action is designed to give families confidence that funeral providers are meeting clear, consistent standards, no matter where they live or which provider they choose.

It will also reinforce the profound responsibility placed on anyone entrusted with caring for someone after death.

This case is another horrendous example of where the deceased have not been honoured with the care and respect many of us would have expected. The findings from Sir Jonathan Michael’s independent inquiry into the actions that allowed David Fuller to commit his horrific crimes showed that we need to consider how we can ensure better standards across all settings that look after our loved ones after they die, including where some level of regulation is already in place.

Many funeral providers offer compassionate and professional care every day. Stronger oversight, including regulation and other measures, would protect families from poor practice, support good providers, and restore confidence in a sector people rely on when they are at their most vulnerable.

Andrew Judd, Chief Executive Officer, National Association of Funeral Directors, said: We welcome the government’s commitment to raising standards and oversight across the whole funeral sector and look forward to working with government to ensure that every single deceased person and their bereaved families are treated with the respect and dignity that they deserve.

“We will work with Government and industry during the engagement to secure meaningful change for all bereaved families as soon as possible. We believe that statutory regulation can best achieve this aim and will continue to make that case during this process.”

Paul Allcock, Government Liaison at the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF), said: “SAIF welcomes the DHSC’s commitment to engaging with the funeral profession on regulation. 

“Any framework must protect the deceased and their families as a priority, but must also uphold standards and recognise small and medium-sized independent funeral businesses. It should be proportionate, preserve family choice and maintain a diverse market. 

“We’re committed to supporting the engagement and cross-government work. 

“SAIF members currently follow the UK Funeral Director Code and undergo inspections of premises, mortuary facilities and administrative processes. Families also have access to an independent complaints and redress process, delivered by an externally audited alternative dispute resolution body certified by the Chartered Trading Standards Institute, providing an added safeguard. 

We’ll continue working closely with the DHSC and MOJ to shape regulation that protects the deceased, their families and supports a sustainable funeral profession.”

Phil Rosenberg, President of the Board of Deputies of British Jews, said: “We look forward to working with the Department of Health and Social Care and the Ministry of Justice to ensure the improvement of standards in the funeral sector enable all families and communities to bury their loved ones with dignity and care.

“The Jewish community is proud of its high standards of care for the deceased and internal regulatory processes, which ensure that Jewish people are buried safely, respectfully, and in accordance with religious requirements.”

Mohamed Omer MBE, Chair, National Burial Council, said: “We have followed the Robert Bush (Legacy Independent Funeral Directors) case with deep distress. The findings are profoundly troubling and have caused immense pain to families who entrusted their loved ones to this service. We extend our heartfelt sympathies to all bereaved families affected by this appalling breach of trust, care and decency. 

“The National Burial Council welcomes the Government’s commitment to urgent action to strengthen oversight, accountability and professional standards across the funeral sector.

“Muslim and Jewish communities have specific religious requirements for timely burial and respectful handling of the deceased, making dignity and transparency essential. NBC works closely with burial societies and funeral directors to uphold high standards and will support DHSC and the Ministry of Justice in strengthening safeguards and effective self‑regulation.”

NOTE: Regulations are already in place in Scotland.

St Columba’s: Time to Remember

FRIDAY 20 JUNE 2 – 2.45pm

All are invited to our Time to Remember Summer event in Fidra (No.17 Boswall Road) on Friday 19 June, at 2pm. This is an opportunity to gather together to remember loved ones who have died.

It’s an inclusive event, appropriate for all ages, and for people of all faiths and none. If you have children, feel free to bring them too. The event will include: quiet music, readings and reflections, the chance to think about the people we love and to write their name(s), and a gift to take home.

The Iona cafe will be open afterwards offering free hot drinks for anyone who wishes to stay and chat.

To register please complete the form on our website https://bit.ly/4awO4hh.

Please note a separate booking must be made for each person wishing to attend, including children.

Mental Health Foundation: Finding The Light

COPING WITH GRIEF AT CHRISTMAS

Christmas is often portrayed as a season of wall-to-wall joy and celebration. But for those of us who have lost loved ones, this season can sometimes feel heavy and complicated. 💜

Our CEO Mark reflects on his own journey with grief at this time of year and offers tips for those who may be struggling during the holidays.

Read the blog now: https://shorturl.at/USg13

#GriefAwarenessWeek

#MentalHealthAwareness

#Wellbeing

#GrowingWithGrief

#NGAW

#NGAW25

Meaning making: living and thriving through grief

MENTAL HEALTH FOUNDATION

When someone close to you dies, life can feel like it’s stopped making sense. 💜

This #griefawarenessweek we’re thinking about the different ways we can weave our losses into the stories of our lives.

Read our latest blog making meaning through grief: https://bit.ly/3XuM8Bc

If you’re reading this blog after someone has recently died, the thought of starting to make sense of life can feel overwhelming. 

Please be advised this content comes directly from lived experience and contains mentions of death and loss which some may find triggering. 

If you need support organisations that can help can be found at the end of this blog.

#HealingThroughGrief

#MentalHealthAwareness

#LifeAfterLoss

#MindfulHealing

#Wellbeing

#GrowingWithGrief

#NGAW

#NGAW25

Remembering your child

Join us for the Royal Hospital for Children & Young People’s Memorial Service on Sunday 30 November.

Doors open 14:15 at Greyfriars Charteris Centre, Edinburgh.

A gentle space for reflection, open to all. Refreshments provided.

Details: https://children.nhslothian.scot/memorial/

Memorial Book

A Memorial Book is kept in the Sanctuary at the Royal Hospital for Children and Young People. If you would like to have a page created in memory of your child, please contact the Chaplain or Spiritual Care team. Please also feel free to get in touch if you would like to know more about emotional and bereavement support for families.

The Sanctuary

The Sanctuary offers space for quiet reflection, prayer or meditation with access to a landscaped courtyard which has a labyrinth of large stones. The Sanctuary can be found on the ground floor of the RHCYP, next to Castle Mey Ward. Ritual washing facilities are available.

For more information visit the spiritual care page.

Memorial Service

There is an annual Memorial Service to remember children who have died, held in Edinburgh on the last Sunday in November every year. You are welcome to attend with family and friends of all ages.

Spiritual Care Support

Chaplains are available to offer support to people of any faith or no faith who have experienced the death of a child. Get in touch by telephone or by e-mail:

@LothianChildren

Back-to-school moments ‘a heartbreaking reminder’ for families affected by pregnancy and baby loss

Amanda Holden joins bereaved parents backing charity campaign

As thousands of parents share back-to-school snaps of their children, pregnancy research charity Tommy’s is highlighting the heartbreak of ‘missing milestones’ for those who live with the shadow of baby loss. 

Tommy’s supports families affected by pregnancy complications and loss, and its groundbreaking research has helped many bereaved parents go on to bring home a baby after loss.  

Its new campaign features the image of a shadow on a front door, in memory of children who are not here to start the school year. 

Tommy’s Ambassador Amanda Holden is among those sharing the image on social media.

Amanda’s son, Theo, was stillborn in 2011 when she was 28 weeks pregnant. She has previously marked on social media what would have been his milestone moments, including a tribute last year which said: “You would have become a teenager today”. 

Kath Abrahams, Chief Executive of Tommy’s, said: “The start of a new school year is a proud milestone for so many families, and celebrated quite rightly with shared photos and stories. 

“But it’s important to remember that for those affected by pregnancy or baby loss – including parents, grandparents and siblings – this time of year can be intensely difficult. There is a gap that can never be filled. 

“Our research into pregnancy complications and loss is already saving babies’ lives but our goal is to make pregnancy and birth safe for everyone, so that more families are spared the lifelong sadness of asking ‘what if?’

In a report published earlier this year, the Sands and Tommy’s Joint Policy Unit estimated that at least 2,500 fewer babies would have been lost since 2018 if the government had achieved its ambition of halving the 2010 rates of stillbirth, neonatal and maternal deaths in England.

That equates to around 100 primary school classrooms left unfilled in England since 2018 because of pregnancy losses that would not have happened if targets had been met. 

Across the UK, half of all adults have either experienced pregnancy or baby loss themselves or know someone who has.

Further Info: https://www.tommys.org/change-lifetime-of-loss

tommys.org

NHS Lothian’s Spiritual Care Services awarded Bereavement Charter for Scotland

NHS Lothian Spiritual Care Services has been awarded the prestigious Bereavement Charter for Scotland (Workforces).

Bereavement can have a profound and long-term effect on people’s health and wellbeing. Within health settings, Spiritual Care Teams support bereavement services and are key in providing specialist spiritual support as part of end-of-life care to both the patient and their family. They support staff and service users to explore a person’s values, beliefs and preferences in relation to end of life care and following a bereavement.

This accreditation is a testament to the services dedication to providing high-quality, human rights-based spiritual and bereavement care. It highlights the team’s commitment to fostering a compassionate and understanding community for those navigating the challenging journey of grief.

Over the past few months, the Spiritual Care team attended several training events to support their learning and journey as a service to support people in bereavement.

The award of the Charter mark recognises the unique skills and insights Registered Chaplains can offer to support those who have experienced a bereavement. As a team they are committed to offering support and care particularly for staff who may have experienced a bereavement in their personal life or at work.

Mark Evans, Head of Spiritual Care said: “This is a real testament to the amazing work my colleagues all do to support those who have experienced a bereavement. As a team they bring unique skills and insights to support people who are bereaved and who are coming to terms with the grief they carry.

“This work also supports the organisations objectives of delivering excellent person-centred care and ensuring our workforce feel valued and supported.” 

SING WHEN YOU’RE LOSING!

Expert on how to cope with the disappointment of England’s defeat – and why singing is the perfect way to banish the disappointment of England’s loss to Spain:

AFTER days of expectation we now know … it’s NOT coming home.

And the washout summer is unlikely to lift the mood in the wake of England’s defeat against Spain. 

But according to a leading mental health expert the disappointment millions are now feeling isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

And, channelled in the right way, Nathan Sherman, the director of therapy and training at Red Umbrella says, it can be turned into a positive. 

Here, Nathan, a qualified psychotherapist and counsellor with a background in private practice and 10+ years of experience in the field, offers his advice on how fans can cope with the aftermath of Sunday night’s defeat.

And one of his tips for coping is singing. 

“A surprisingly good way of releasing disappointment and frustration is actually singing,” he says. “Singing releases emotion, including anger, so put that favourite song on in the car, turn the volume up, and sing like no one is listening.”

Why do people get so disappointed in the aftermath of a sporting defeat?

Nathan says: “Disappointment is a normal human emotion to feel, but in many ways it can be healthy and helpful – disappointment might drive us to try harder, practice more and grow as a person.

It also helps us appreciate the wins more; if we always won at everything it would probably feel quite shallow and unsatisfying.

We experience a more emotional response when we attach more meaning to something. If it matters to me, I’m going to feel more disappointment if it goes wrong than if I don’t think something is that important. Sport is emotive to us because we value it – the camaraderie, the value we place on success, and how we view our national identity.

The England team represent us, we vicariously live their glories. Very few of us get to compete on a global stage, so we attach meaning to the actions of those who we feel represent us, as a way to experience some of that glory. Of course, when they lose, we feel the disappointment and loss just as keenly.”

How can we channel disappointment in a more positive way?

“Start by remembering, firstly, disappointment isn’t a bad thing. We like to attach meaning to emotions – this one is good, this one is bad, but all feelings are valid. The first thing we can do to help is talk through what we’re feeling.

“Bottling up disappointment not only helps it to build, but can easily turn that disappointment into anger and resentment.

“Firstly, we should talk it through with someone we trust, who is going to allow space for us to feel disappointed. Secondly, we should allow ourselves the space to feel this. It’s okay to feel this way in the day or two after the final.

“We don’t want it to last forever, and the feelings will subside, but for now, giving ourselves permission to feel what we feel is important. Thirdly, don’t fixate on the negatives. The team might have lost, but they also reached a second consecutive final. They are competing at the highest level and that’s a positive thing.

“We felt the disappointment of losing, but also the joys of winning along the way, of scoring goals and celebrating success.”

How can you avoid disappointment leading to anger? 

“It’s easy to get angry when we feel powerless, as none of us could control the result. Many people may feel upset at the result, and for men in particular, upset is not an emotion we’ve been allowed to express. So that upset turns to anger instead, because that’s been seen as a more acceptable emotion.

“Start by asking yourself if you really feel angry, or if you actually just feel sad. Recognising and expressing the right emotion is important. If you do feel angry, safe physical expression can help. Going for a walk, kicking a ball in a park, clenching and unclenching your fists or punching a pillow can all help express the physical energy of anger safely.”

What strategies can people have in place to avoid disappointment and overcome it?

“How we perceive disappointment can help with how we feel about it. If I told you that I could see the future and that England would lose in the next two major tournaments, but win the third, how would you feel about the next two tournaments? Probably some disappointment, but maybe not so much because you’d see it as one step closer to the one they would win.

“Seeing progress as a journey, not an end point, and knowing that losing helps us to grow and develop and often then leads to success, can change how we feel in the moment. Focusing on the good that we have experienced rather than the end point can shift how we feel, too.

How exciting was it to see young players performing well? How did we feel when England scored? What we choose to remember and focus on matters.”

When should you start to worry about the way you are feeling?

“Disappointment is normal to feel – but if that feeling persists longer than a few days, it’s best to reach out for help and support. Sometimes we might just need to have an outlet for our feelings, but if we weren’t feeling great to begin with, a disappointment like this can be the trigger for something more serious.

“Don’t be embarrassed or afraid to reach out for help. It might feel like something we ‘should’ cope with, but everyone is unique and we all respond differently. It’s okay to not be okay.

“Disappointment can feel worse if we’ve experienced other disappointments recently too. So, while we might think we don’t care that much about the football result, maybe that’s coming on top of a missed promotion at work, a relationship breakup, or any other kind of loss or disappointment.

“If you start to feel like you’re not quite yourself and you can’t work out why, because the football wasn’t that big of a deal to you, be aware that it could just be the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

About Nathan Shearman

Nathan Shearman is the director of therapy and training at Red Umbrella, an organisation that’s improving the mental wellbeing of the UK workforce by working in partnership with large employers to deliver bespoke mental health training and support solutions.

Nathan is a qualified psychotherapist and counsellor with a background in private practice and 10+ years of experience in the field.

Experts in Grief: Edinburgh funeral directors first to undertake inaugural grief training

It goes without saying that the job of a funeral director can be mentally taxing and stressful and while some may say it is part of the job, over time it can take its toll.

That’s why the independent Edinburgh funeral directors, William Purves, is acknowledging that their profession poses risks to colleagues’ mental health and has therefore working with leading bereavement charity, Cruse’s inaugural Grief First Aid training.

With over 125 years of experience in the business, the family-owned funeral firm is no stranger to carefully navigating the complexities of grief.

Nonetheless, in the aftermath of the pandemic, which saw countless lives affected by grief – including members of the funeral team – William Purves stepped up to become one of the first businesses to trial this new initiative to better support anyone who may be suffering as a result of loss, grief or bereavement. 

Hazel Strachan, a William Purves Administrator and one of the course attendees said: “Our job takes us to the heart of families who are coping with one of life’s most challenging experiences – never more so than during the pandemic. During this time, we prioritised the care of others over processing the impact on our own lives – which has led to a storing up of emotions.

“Funeral Directors are also not immune to bereavement in our own lives – events from many years ago can be triggered by aspects of the job, which creates an unexpected emotional response.”

Cruse’s Grief First Aid course comprises three online modules, each four hours in length. 20 representatives from William Purves undertook the course, covering topics including ‘understanding grief’ and ‘the importance of bereavement policy’.

The participants also developed practical skills focused on facilitating conversations around grief and how best to support a colleague returning to work following a bereavement. Upon finishing the training, each representative received a certification of completion.

Gemma Halley, HR Manager who enlisted William Purves’ onto the course, said: “As a team we are now equipped with a much deeper understanding of how grief impacts everyday life. Crucially, we now have the knowledge to recognise signs of need within the workplace which we may have otherwise overlooked and the skills to respond to that need.

“While hard to select one key takeaway from the training, the importance of recognising that everyone’s experience of grief is individual to them and that the power of listening cannot be underestimated will be invaluable.

“Treating our colleagues with compassion throughout their grief journey and ensuring they feel heard, respected and supported early on can potentially stave off far more serious consequences as well as strengthen and build internal bonds of support.”  

Rachel Argyle, a representative of Cruse said: “We were very excited that William Purves agreed to undertake our inaugural Grief First Aid Training.

“Given that they care for grieving families every day, their understanding of bereavement was already very high, and they were well equipped with key skills to support those suffering.

“Where the training resonated most was in giving staff the tools to recognise when fellow colleagues might be triggered by a funeral or life event, and to be more confident in initiating conversations around grief in the workplace.”

Bereavement charity provides “warmth and good humour” for bereaved people across Edinburgh

Cruse Scotland, a Scottish charity that provides essential support to people struggling with bereavement following the loss of a loved one, has been able to extend its vital Early Support Programme following a fourth significant financial boost from Scotmid Funerals.

The funding has supported people across Edinburgh to better cope with each stage of grief, through one-to-one and group support sessions with trained volunteers.

Edinburgh-based Brian, who sadly lost his brother suddenly in 2021 and his mother the following year, shares how he benefited from speaking to Cruse Scotland:

“I can’t talk highly enough of my experience with Cruse Scotland. My counsellor was amazing – extremely professional, highly perceptive, and responsive to the finer nuances of the conversations we had.

“Each session I found hit the right balance of challenging yet supportive, and it was all done with warmth and good humour. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time, and I feel the benefit of it every day.”

Last year, Scotmid Funerals donated £8,000 to extend Cruse Scotland’s Early Support services and this year, the funeral provider has made a further £10,000 award.

This latest funding will allow Cruse Scotland to develop its volunteer recruitment and training programme to upskill its crucial volunteers in 2023-24 to continue its support to bereaved people in Edinburgh and the rest of Scotland.