Tag: grief

NSPCC issues advice for parents and carers to help support children with grief following the Queen’s death

Following the news about The Queen’s death children and young people have turned to Childline counsellors for support. They have discussed a range of different things, including:

  • Sadness for the loss of The Queen
  • Past bereavements that this has reminded them of (family members or friends passing away)
  • Issues around mourning in public and school’s announcements/assemblies
  • Feeling overwhelmed with all the news at the moment – with The Queen’s passing being one more sign of “how the world is getting worse”
  • The monarchy’s legacy
  • What the new King will do

Advice – for parents and carers

Following a huge and public loss like that of Queen Elizabeth II, it is normal for children and young people to feel the impact of the grief in their communities.

This may have raised questions for them about loss or remind them of their own experiences of bereavement.

There are a number of ways that adults can support children at this time:

  • Let them know that you’re there to listen to them and remind them that sharing how they feel can really help. Equally, give them space if they wish to be alone to process how they are feeling
  • Remind them that there are lots of small ways to let their feelings out. This could include expressing their feelings by doing something creative such as writing a letter to that person or keeping a diary of how they’re feeling
  • If they are upset about someone who has died, encourage them to think of the happy times they had with the person who died and share this with you so you can talk about them together
  • Remind them that it can take a long time to feel better if they have experienced a bereavement and that this is normal
  • If they are finding it hard to talk to you, let them know they can contact Childline for free, confidential support and advice on 0800 1111 or www.childline.org.uk

Shaun Friel, Childline Director, said: “It is not surprising that the death of Her Majesty The Queen has brought up different feelings for children and young people. When big world events take place such as this, we often see them being raised by children in Childline counselling sessions.

“Those that have turned to our counsellors have talked about a range of things including sadness about her death, questions about loss and grief, and for some young people, The Queen’s death has reminded them about a bereavement they have experienced in their own lives which will feel very difficult for them.

“Others have highlighted that it feels like another piece of very overwhelming news at the moment.

“Death is a very natural and inevitable part of life, but its also a very overwhelming topic for children to process and understand. It is important that children know there is someone they can talk to if they are feeling worried or upset. Remind them that there are trusted adults who can listen to them and that they can always contact Childline for free, confidential support and advice.”

Sir Peter Wanless, CEO of NSPCC, said: “Everyone at the NSPCC is devastated by the death of Her Majesty The Queen. She was our Royal patron for more than 60 years, which was just one of the countless ways she made a huge difference to the lives of children in the UK. Our thoughts go out to her family, including our current patron the Countess of Wessex.

“Her Majesty The Queen supported the NSPCC in a number of ways, including attending our centenary thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral in 1984, visiting our national training centre in 1989 and hosting a reception at St James Palace in 2007 to mark the end of our FULL STOP appeal. The NSPCC’s Royal patron is currently the Countess of Wessex.  

“We know that during this moment of national shock and mourning, many children will be feeling anxious. Support is available for children struggling with anxiety at Childline: Worries about the world | Childline”

HUSH: Breaking the Silence

Only two weeks to go until Victim Support Scotland’s #HUSH project launches at Many Studios in Glasgow!

A free multimedia exhibition which tells the stories of families who have been bereaved by crime in Scotland.

Click here to read more:

https://victimsupport.scot/hush-coming-soon/

Barnardo’s resources to help teachers talk to pupils about grief

At the start of Children’s Grief Awareness Week, Barnardo’s is releasing resources for teachers to help children cope with bereavement. 

Before Covid-19, official stats showed one in 29 five-16 year olds had been bereaved of a parent or sibling – that’s at least one child in every average class. 

With more than 165,000 deaths from Covid-19 in the UK (deaths with Covid-19 on the death certificate), Barnardo’s says many more children and young people will be experiencing bereavement. 

Black people and men of Pakistani and Bangladeshi heritage are almost twice as likely to die from Covid-19 as White people, meaning children from these communities are more likely to experience loss. 

The free resources about grief are available on the Barnardo’s Education Community (BEC) website (https://www.educators-barnardos.org.uk/). 

They include an introductory worksheet which explores what grief is and a volcano-making activity that focuses on how grief impacts us. 

They also include some suggestions and advice about how to cope and who children can talk to when going back to school after someone special has died. 

Also in the resources are some coping techniques teachers can tell children about to use when times are difficult, exercises to help ground children and regulate their breathing. 

The resources will also be posted throughout Children’s Grief Awareness Week (November 18 to 24) on the Barnardo’s Education Community Twitter page (@BarnardosEduCom). 

Barnardo’s Interim Co-CEO Michelle Lee-Izu said: “Sadly the raw feelings of grief and loss will be familiar to thousands of children and families across the UK, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic. 

“Children have suffered a huge amount of loss in the last year. For most this has meant missing out on school and playing with their friends, but for too many children it has meant the loss of parents, grandparents and members of their family or community. 

“I hope that teachers who are discussing the issue of grief with their pupils during Children’s Grief Awareness Week will find our tips and resources useful – and that they will be used to assist schools and colleges to support children who are struggling in the future.” 

Letters: Paws to Listen support for breaved pet owners

Dear Letters Editor,

With National Grief Awareness Day on 30 August, I’d like to highlight Cats Protection’s grief support service for cat owners.

Now in its fifth year, Paws to Listen is there for anyone facing the heartbreak of losing their cat, struggling with issues like euthanasia, or whose cat has gone missing. It is a free and confidential service, connecting callers with a volunteer listener over the telephone or via email.

Pet loss is not always fully recognised in society as a significant loss, causing many to be reluctant to talk about their grief. Additionally, Covid restrictions in the past year or so have often meant that people could not be with their pets at the point of euthanasia, which has compounded people’s grief. We feel it is important to normalise pet grief and let people know that they’re not alone and it’s OK to talk about it.

This year, our Paws to Listen service is being supported by players of People’s Postcode Lottery. I’d like to say a huge thank you to them for their continued support, which is also helping us to take care of cats at our centres and speak up for cats through our campaigning work.

The Paws to Listen phone line is open 9am-5pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) and can be reached on 0800 024 94 94.

Alternatively, people can get in touch via an online form at: www.cats.org.uk/grief

Yours faithfully,

Catherine Joyce
Paws to Listen Team Leader, Cats Protection

Demystifying Death Week

Demystifying Death Week, 10 – 16 May, is about giving people knowledge, skills & opportunities to plan & support each other through death, dying, loss & care.

@StColumbas will be taking part in the Week’s activities.

St Columba’s Hospice Care is pleased to be supporting Demystifying Death Week (10-16 May), shining a light on death, dying and bereavement in Scotland.

Demystifying Death Week is about giving people knowledge, skills and opportunities to plan and support each other through death, dying, loss and care. Here in Scotland, the Week is organised by Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief as part of the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care (SPPC) and it runs in parallel to Dying Matters week in England.

“If people know a bit more about death and dying, they’re in a better position to take control of their own situation, support others, make plans and have informed decisions about what they’d want when the time comes,” said Rebecca Patterson, Director of Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief.

At St Columba’s, our Supportive Care and Compassionate Communities teams and wider Hospice community will be engaging with Demystifying Death Week through supporting and taking part in the programme of activities. We wanted to share these with you in case you would like to sign up for any of the events too.

Here are some of the workshops and webinars available:

Unexpected Consequences: A Webinar on Bereavement: Tuesday 11 May, 13:30 to 15:15

Topics:

  • People dying at home during Covid (Dr Jan Savinc, Napier University)
  • How disenfranchised grief has been affected by Covid-19 (Paul Parsons, Adult Bereavement Coordinator for St Christopher’s Hospice)
  • Digital Accessibility and the impact on grief (Donna Hastings, Child and Families Worker for St Columba’s Hospice Care, Edinburgh)

Find out more

Loss & the Creative Arts: Music, Poetry & other Arts as Expression of Grief: Thursday 13 May 2021, 13:00 to 15:00

This is an event for Dying Matters Week, chaired by Professor Lynne Gabriel and Dr John Wilson of York St John University Counselling and Mental Health Centre, who will introduce the work of (in alphabetical order):

  • Laura Fitton, Nursing sister and published poet who works with Covid19 on the NHS front line
  • Kev Fitzpatrick, singer songwriter,
  • Sioux Hill, bereaved by Covid, singer with the Alone Together Choir
  • Mick Jenkinson. singer songwriter and published poet
  • Liam Meyer NHS worker and founder of the Alone Together Choir, as seen on BBC News
  • Sarah Villeneau, ceramicist whose work is both beautiful and macabre

The event will be of interest to those who are grieving and anyone who works with death, dying, bereavement and grief, including counsellors, bereavement supporters and volunteers who are interested in working more creatively. The event will include a question and answer session.

Find out more

You may also be interested in accesssing a series of free webinars offered by Child Bereavement UK for professionals working with children and young people in Scotland:

Access free webinars

Find out more about Demystifying Death Week via the Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief website here:

Access information

Please find more info on our website: https://stcolumbashospice.org.uk/news/

Home Again: Grieving girl reunited with long lost cat

A cat missing for nine months and presumed dead is reunited with a grieving young girl – and her reaction is priceless.

After nine months of searching for her beloved cat, 10-year-old Katya Harmon had reluctantly accepted that she wouldn’t see Timmy again. The pair had been inseparable since they bonded eight years previously and the loss made 2020 an even more difficult year for Katya.

Katya’s father Perry had died of cancer in the summer and the family was so overcome with grief that her mother Svitlana took extended leave from her role as a care home worker to come to terms with the loss and care for Katya.

In January the Surrey family moved from Chertsey to West End, Woking. Timmy was kept indoors for the first few weeks but, on only the second time being let out in his new neighbourhood, he failed to return home. They searched garages and sheds, knocked on doors and posted on social media, but no sightings were reported.

Katya was inconsolable for weeks, living in hope of his safe return. After being missing for nine months, mum Svitlana felt the time had come to accept that Timmy was gone for ever and she would need to help her daughter heal. The process started with Svitlana getting rid of Timmy’s toys and bedding, unaware that their luck was about to change.

Within days, Svitlana received a ground-shaking call while doing the school run. Incredibly, Timmy had been found safe and well and would be coming home, thanks to him being microchipped (https://youtu.be/moZDgX-dfEc).

Pauline Welch, Welfare Officer for Cats Protection’s Woking and District Branch said: “We had a report from a lady who had been feeding a suspected stray cat for a couple of months. I went round and scanned him for a microchip, which he had thankfully. While there I looked up the number on our system and saw that it had been registered to an address in Chertsey.”

Although Svitlana hadn’t updated their address on Timmy’s microchip, her mobile number remained the same and Woking’s Cats Protection team (www.cats.org.uk/woking) was able to call and break the happy news.

Pauline said: “The lady who answered was indeed missing her cat Timmy and was over the moon that he’d been found. Her daughter had been devastated when he went missing and had asked her mum that very morning if she’d ever see him again. It’s a heart wrenching story with a happy ending.

“It certainly brought a few tears to our eyes, that’s for sure!”

Relieved mum Svitlana was bowled over when she took the call. She said: “I had just taken Katya to school when I received a totally unexpected call from Cats Protection. I had given up hope of ever receiving such a call. Timmy was coming home. It was almost unbelievable.

“I knew that Katya would be overjoyed to see Timmy. That was when I hit on the idea of filming that special moment, to capture Katya’s reaction to finding Timmy hiding on her bed.”

No sooner had Pauline made the call than Timmy was delivered back to his home.

All the while Katya was at school and couldn’t imagine the surprise waiting for her on her return.

Thankfully, Svitlana captured that moment when Katya is reunited with her beloved cat on video: https://youtu.be/moZDgX-dfEc

The joyful return of Timmy went some way to improving a devastating year for Katya and her mum.

Svitlana said: “We’ve had it hard this year, like so many people. It has been hard to see any end to it. And then I had a miracle call from Cats Protection. It really brought some light back into our world.

“If it wasn’t for that microchip, we wouldn’t have Timmy home with us now. He won’t leave Katya’s side and she is besotted with him. He came back to us two days before my birthday; that really was the best present I could have hoped for this year.”

Cats Protection’s work is possible thanks to the generous donations of supporters and volunteers, especially during the COVID-19 crisis when fundraising has been hit hard.

To donate to the Woking and District Branch and to support cats like Timmy, visit: www.cats.org.uk/christmas/donate

Timmy’s story mirrors Cats Protection’s Christmas campaign featuring a tear-jerking animation created by multi award-winning Aardman Studios. The beautiful three-minute animation is inspired by the true story of a young boy and his missing cat, Casper, and highlights the value of microchips for pets. 

To watch the Christmas animation, visit www.cats.org.uk/christmas

According to Cats Protection’s CATS report 2020*, over a quarter (26%) of owned cats in the UK are not chipped. The charity is actively campaigning to change this by making it a legal requirement for cats to be microchipped, as it is for dogs.