Edinburgh Festival Fringe – Page 5 – The NEN

Vine cleans up again with top Fringe joke

A vacuum cleaner joke by Fringe favourite Tim Vine has been voted the funniest at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

For the first time in Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe’s seven-year history, the award has been presented to a previous winner. King of the one-liners Tim Vine has this year come top with nearly a fifth (19%) of respondents voting “I decided to sell my hoover… well it was just collecting dust” their funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

Tim also triumphed in 2010 with: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

Three female comedians also feature in this year’s Top 10 as jokes from Bec Hill, Ria Lina and Felicity Ward proved to tickle the nation’s funnybone, reflecting the overall reported 62% rise of women performing at this year’s Fringe.

In its mission to find the most hilarious one-liners, Dave enlisted the help of an expert panel of ten judges, consisting of the UK’s foremost comedy critics. They scoured venues at the world-famous Edinburgh Festival Fringe over a week to nominate their three favourite jokes. The shortlisted gags were then put anonymously to the public vote, with 2,000 Brits selecting those that they found the funniest.

Dave’s Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2014

1. “I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.” – Tim Vine

2. “I’ve written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set.” – Masai Graham

3. “Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.” – Mark Watson

4. “I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn’t work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s.” – Bec Hill

5. “I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn’t let me.” – Ria Lina

6. “Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal.” – Paul F Taylor

7. “Scotland had oil, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying.” – Scott Capurro

8=. “I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame ’cause halfway through he disappears up his own arsehole.” – Kevin Day

8=. “I’ve been married for 10 years, I haven’t made a decision for seven.” – Jason Cook

10. “This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it.” – Felicity Ward

Dave’s first two-time winner and regular fixture on the Top 10 list, Tim Vine is a firmly established comedian whose rapid one-liners have helped him achieve great success in the world of comedy.

As well as sold out tours and best-selling DVDs, he has appeared on various TV shows including Not Going Out and Blandings. He first performed at the Fringe in 1993 and was awarded Best Newcomer in 1995. His current Edinburgh Fringe show, “Tim Timinee Tim Timinee Tim Tim To You,” is a sell-out success at the Pleasance Courtyard, and his first stand up tour in four years is also planned for next Spring.

On being awarded the top spot, Tim Vine said: “I’m a little bit surprised but very delighted. This is the second time I’ve won this award but I guess nobody loves a repeat more than Dave!”

Honourable mentions – These one-liners that just missed out on the top spots:

“I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it’s less a term of affection, more an economic reality.” – Ed Gamble

“Leadership looks fun, but it’s stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga.” – James Acaster

“I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.” – Sara Pascoe

Top of the Flops – And some of the jokes voted the least laughable included:

“My mate sat on my pumpkin. He butternut squashed it.” – Leo Kearse

“I had a friend call Iain. Two ‘i’s… to go with the face.” – John Kearns

“I’m lazy – my childhood ambition was to be an injured footballer.” – Mike Shephard

“This vodka is drunk by the rapper Sean Combs. P Diddy? Only when he drank a whole bottle.” – Ben McFarland and Tom Sandham

“I tried to Google endangered species. They were hard to find.” – Suns of Fred

“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.” – Tim Vine

HOOVER: but nothing to do with Tim Vine's joke — A HOOVER: but nothing to do with Tim Vine’s winning joke

Craig Hill’s rubbish!

FRINGE STAR HELPS COUNCIL CLEAN UP ITS ACT

Cheeky Fringe stalwart Craig Hill kept it clean when he helped City of Edinburgh Council’s street cleansing team spruce up the capital during the Festival.

The comedy veteran and Edinburgh resident pitched in to help the local task force tackle one of the summer’s busiest spots, against the familiar backdrop of his own promotional posters at Middle Meadow Walk.

Craig is one of hundreds of performers to be promoting their shows using the Council’s official advertising, which for the first year will generate thousands of pounds towards keeping the city clean during the festival.

The scheme, now in is in its fourth year, dissuades illegal fly-posters by providing alternative advertising opportunities, saving the Council up to £350,000 on the cost of cleaning away flyers and posters.

And now, for the first time, revenue from the advertising contract with print and distribution company Out of Hand, in partnership with Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society, will be ploughed back into keeping the city beautiful for residents and visitors.

Money gained from the contract to advertise on Council-owned assets will be used to fund additional street cleansing and litter capacity over the busy festival period.

Environment Convener, Councillor Lesley Hinds, said: “Last year’s Fringe Festival Advertising proved a real success so now it’s great to be able to harness this to help keep our city beautiful for everyone.

“Edinburgh Festival Fringe is an amazing experience for performers, visitors and people living in Edinburgh, but it has an undoubted impact on the city’s environment.

“That’s why we’re glad to be able to work with Out of Hand and Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society to provide a solution benefitting both citizens and those making the most of this world-famous festival.”

The City of Edinburgh Council’s outdoor advertising poster project, delivered by Out of Hand, provides different styles of advertising on around 900 Council-owned assets throughout the city, including wrap-around lamp post advertising and tower columns.

Revenue gained from advertising of performances during the period will fund operational costs associated with the Fringe.

Amongst these measures are the employment of more than 70 temporary street cleaners to patrol the city’s streets to tackle litter resulting from increased footfall and a batch of extra large bins, to be located in some of the city’s busiest areas to cope with the rise in rubbish.

Comedian Craig Hill added: “Edinburgh is so gorgeous I’m really pleased that one of the Council’s priorities is keeping it clean because it’s too beautiful a city to mess up!”

Oh, Danny Bhoy – the staff and kids are grateful!

Twelve Nights, Twelve Charities raises over £75,000

It seems like Danny Bhoy’s been a regular at Edinburgh’s Fringe since Nicholas Parsons was a boy – he’s performed here since 2001 – but this year the popular Scottish stand up did things a little differently. All proceeds from Danny’s Assembly Rooms show – Twelve Nights, Twelve Charities – was donated to local charities.

Danny explained: “All charities are deserving, but I have chosen twelve perhaps lesser well-known organisations that do terrific work in and around Edinburgh mainly with young people and children.”

The punchline? Sellout gigs and the twelve local charities are laughing all the way to the bank – Danny’s sell-out shows raised an incredible £75, 240.61p!

Among those charities were Leith-based Multicultural Family Base (MCFB), The Yard in Stockbridge and Pilton Youth and Childrens Project, and Danny and his sister Bina have just completed a wee mini-tour, delivering the goods news to the projects!

For Pilton Youth and Children’s Project,there was a cheque for over £5600 and a ‘bucket shake’ at the Assembly Rooms raised another £600 – lots to smile about when money is so tight!

PYCP’s chairperson Clare Halliday said yesterday: “This is really amazing, absolutely brilliant. Support like this makes a huge difference and Danny’s generosity will be used toward our holiday provision and residentials. We can’t thank him enough.”

Roll up, roll up! Randolph Crescent joins the party

Don’t you feel the West End is always left out when it comes to Fringe Fun? Well, no more – the West End is joining the party …Randolph Crescent gardens are no longer sleeping. From 8 to 24 August a 150-seats circus tent, twice the size of the Institute’s theatre, will expand the Fringe experience at the Institut français.

The gardens off Randolph Crescent are about to turn into a new Fringe venue as the Institut français adds circus to its programme for the first time this August. From 8 to 24 August, the tailor made big top of Belgian company T1J will be the home of the circus show L’Enfant qui…

Randolph Crescent gardens are no longer sleeping. From 8 to 24 August a 150-seats circus tent, twice the size of the Institute’s theatre, will expand the Fringe experience at the Institut français.

Under the ‘Chapiteau’, the Belgian theatre company T1J will bring together acrobatics, puppetry and live music for the stunning circus show L’Enfant qui… Passing the doors of the impressive structure, festival-goers, neighbours and inhabitants of Edinburgh West End will discover the world of an ill child who finds his own way to escape reality through arts, his connection to Nature and the power of his imagination.

Including circus to its Vive le Fringe! programme is the latest and biggest development of the Institut français since its return to the Fringe in 2010.

Covering almost all the surface of the gardens, the circus tent will provide greater visibility to the Institut français’ presence at the Fringe and increase the attractiveness of the West End, a flourishing area that the recent arrival of the tram contributed to reinforce.

Pictures: Ann Baraquin

Institut français d’Ecosse/ Venue 134 – 13 Randolph Crescent, Edinburgh.

Box Office: 0131 225 53 66 Mon – Sun 9.30 am – 9.00 pm.

www.vivelefringe.org

Fringe Review: A Final Solution to the cabaret problem?

Everybody’s favourite war criminal Frank Sanazi’s back in town, and the Fuhrer’s thankfully learnt nothing since his defeat in 1945. A blitzkrieg attack on taste and decency, Das Vegas Night 3 was a delight.

The Rat Pack’s songs are given the Sanazi makeover – That’s Life becomes Das Reich, Gestapo Gestapo is the new Chicago Chicago; you get the picture. The material’s as subtle as an attack by a Panzer division, but predictable or not, it’s very funny.

Pol Pot, Chairman Mao, Tony Blair, Saddam Hussein, the Twin Tower bombers and Harold Shipman – all received an honourable mention in despatches during the performance, and Sanazi didn’t hold back. But there’s something strangely endearing about Sanazi, and material that makes you wince is delivered with a cheeky smile.
As he said: ‘A bit close to the mark? But hey, today we have no mark! We have the Euro – Germany wins again!’

While Sanazi himself was hilarious, the cabaret’s supporting cast and material was not so strong – a bit like Mussolini’s Italian army during World War Two, I suppose. But an hour of world domination, war crimes and some gratuitous nudity thrown in too – wunderbar!

Zis time we win? Yes, Frank, I rather think you did. Tonight, the Voodoo Rooms, tomorrow the world.

Das Vegas Night 3 – Zis Time We Win!
The Voodoo Rooms, West Register Street
Until 10 August

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