A vacuum cleaner joke by Fringe favourite Tim Vine has been voted the funniest at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
For the first time in Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe’s seven-year history, the award has been presented to a previous winner. King of the one-liners Tim Vine has this year come top with nearly a fifth (19%) of respondents voting “I decided to sell my hoover… well it was just collecting dust” their funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.
Tim also triumphed in 2010 with: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”
Three female comedians also feature in this year’s Top 10 as jokes from Bec Hill, Ria Lina and Felicity Ward proved to tickle the nation’s funnybone, reflecting the overall reported 62% rise of women performing at this year’s Fringe.
In its mission to find the most hilarious one-liners, Dave enlisted the help of an expert panel of ten judges, consisting of the UK’s foremost comedy critics. They scoured venues at the world-famous Edinburgh Festival Fringe over a week to nominate their three favourite jokes. The shortlisted gags were then put anonymously to the public vote, with 2,000 Brits selecting those that they found the funniest.
Dave’s Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2014
1. “I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.” – Tim Vine
2. “I’ve written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set.” – Masai Graham
3. “Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.” – Mark Watson
4. “I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn’t work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s.” – Bec Hill
5. “I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn’t let me.” – Ria Lina
6. “Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal.” – Paul F Taylor
7. “Scotland had oil, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying.” – Scott Capurro
8=. “I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame ’cause halfway through he disappears up his own arsehole.” – Kevin Day
8=. “I’ve been married for 10 years, I haven’t made a decision for seven.” – Jason Cook
10. “This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it.” – Felicity Ward
Dave’s first two-time winner and regular fixture on the Top 10 list, Tim Vine is a firmly established comedian whose rapid one-liners have helped him achieve great success in the world of comedy.
As well as sold out tours and best-selling DVDs, he has appeared on various TV shows including Not Going Out and Blandings. He first performed at the Fringe in 1993 and was awarded Best Newcomer in 1995. His current Edinburgh Fringe show, “Tim Timinee Tim Timinee Tim Tim To You,” is a sell-out success at the Pleasance Courtyard, and his first stand up tour in four years is also planned for next Spring.
On being awarded the top spot, Tim Vine said: “I’m a little bit surprised but very delighted. This is the second time I’ve won this award but I guess nobody loves a repeat more than Dave!”
Honourable mentions – These one-liners that just missed out on the top spots:
“I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it’s less a term of affection, more an economic reality.” – Ed Gamble
“Leadership looks fun, but it’s stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga.” – James Acaster
“I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.” – Sara Pascoe
Top of the Flops – And some of the jokes voted the least laughable included:
“My mate sat on my pumpkin. He butternut squashed it.” – Leo Kearse
“I had a friend call Iain. Two ‘i’s… to go with the face.” – John Kearns
“I’m lazy – my childhood ambition was to be an injured footballer.” – Mike Shephard
“This vodka is drunk by the rapper Sean Combs. P Diddy? Only when he drank a whole bottle.” – Ben McFarland and Tom Sandham
“I tried to Google endangered species. They were hard to find.” – Suns of Fred
“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.” – Tim Vine
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