Tag: books

It’s Gogglebox, only pointing at bins and dog poo

What do you do when your bins haven’t been emptied, you’ve got an unfair parking ticket or found a sticking plaster in your takeaway burger? Logic says that you go and complain to the people responsible for this minor outrage in your life.

You would be one hundred per cent WRONG.

The correct response is to go to your local newspaper and be photographed pointing angrily at the thing that displeases you – and that’s the subject of a new book coming out this month from author and journalist Alistair Coleman.

Angry People in Local Newspapers does exactly what it says on the tin, laughing along with the funniest stories of justified rage in Britain’s local press.

It shows Britain (and Australia, and New Zealand) as a tightly-wound ball of rage, where the only release is to have your photograph in your local newspaper pointing at a pile of dog poo.

Take these for example:

• “Naked gardener put me off sausages for life” – the tale of a mild mannered lady from the English Home Counties forced to avoid her favourite tea time meat product all because of her exhibitionist neighbour.
• “I was charged 8p for brown sauce on my pie” – Possibly the greatest scandal ever to come out of Wigan in the 21^st Century.
• “He left a dump instead of a tip” – The sorry tale of an Australian taxi driver who found his fare had left a steaming brown trout on the back seat of his cab.
• “We’re sick of this… Residents deliver dog poo to the mayor” – The fragrant story of how locals in one small New Zealand town highlighted the problem of dog mess, complete with one of the greatest photographs ever committed to news print (attached, credit Nelson Weekly NZ)
• “Piers Morgan turns down invite to ‘grim’ Dudley” – And what better way to illustrate your dislike for Britain’s most recognisable controversialist that to pose with a Piers Morgan horror mask taped to a stick, giving him a firm thumbs-down? Bravo, then, the Express and Star for mission accomplished.
• “Popular American diner to be knocked down and turned into a cesspit” – Because if you’re after an indicator to how badly your life is going, this is it.
• “Outrage after Aldi store in Morecambe closes” – It’s the little inconveniences in life that really stir up fury. The branch in question is closing because they’re opening a new, bigger one ON THE SAME STREET. But, as they say, there’s no pleasing some folk.
• “Residents’ bollard erection fury” – You didn’t see this. Keep scrolling down. (But bravo to the Canterbury Journal for this utter FILTH)
• “Does Billericay have the most expensive public toilet in the UK?” – We’re going to go out on a limb and say “Yes”, only because the person complaining is wearing a trilby and a cravat, and is holding a five pound note.

And to prove that the best seem to be the ones seemingly thrown together with random words and a photo of somebody pointing at something that’s no longer there anymore because it’s been stolen:

• “Old man on bicycle stole a book case from our front garden” – More questions than answers, and surely the world’s slowest ever chase scene. That’s the magic of the local press.

Angry People In Local Newspapers is the cult website and Facebook group dedicated to the magnificence of British (mostly) regional journalism, now coming out in book form.

With around 250,000 members, many of whom acting as Official Spotters, it’s a daily round-up of the news that REALLY matters just about to celebrate its tenth year of people pointing at things.

It turns out that most of us don’t care a hoot for high-falutin’ politics – we just want our bins emptied, our pavements free of dog poo, buses to run on time, and (it turns out) Christmas to turn up once a year without it being totally RUINED by low-quality Santa’s Grottos.

APILN is a labour of love for BBC journalist Alistair Coleman, and it’s a big change from his usual beat of uncovering and explaining the global phenomenon of fake news.

“There’s a truth in local news that’s impossible to beat,” he says, “It’s everyday lives, the beating heart of this country. And when we’re annoyed, it’s the place we go to get things put right – and it’s your 15 minutes of fame as promised by Andy Warhol.”

Alistair says that local news is often the launch pad for stories that go viral in the national press and worldwide.

“Back in the day, your local news story stayed local,” he explains, “But now, the power of the internet means that you pointing with a scowl on your face at a dead mouse in a tin of beans can go all the way round the world, translated into every language from Tunbridge Wells to Vladivostok.

“Think of it as Gogglebox, only pointing at bins and dog poo, wrapped in a Union Flag.”

Local news is the where the next generation of journalists is to be found, and it should always play a central part in British life.

“It’s a thing worth celebrating in book form, and we’re pointing and laughing along with the people that make this country great.”

“And we’re delighted that so many editors and publishers see the funny side of the book. We couldn’t have done it without them.”