Nearly half of British men say no one has asked them how they are coping during lockdown

Eight out of 10 British men find it helpful when people ask if they’re having a difficult time – yet nearly half (46%) say no one has checked to find out how they are coping during the COVID-19 pandemic, according to new research. 

Figures released to mark the start of Mental Health Awareness Week by global men’s health charity Movember, exploring the impact of COVID-19 on social connections, reveal that almost a quarter (22 per cent) of men surveyed had not checked in with friends or family to find out how they were doing during the crisis.

The survey of 1,451 Britons was commissioned by Movember and carried out by the Social Research Centre as part of a global study.

It found that approximately a third of men (33 per cent and 28 per cent respectively) felt their relationships with work colleagues and friends had weakened since the physical distancing restrictions had been imposed.

Older men are the group most likely to have experienced poorer social connections, with 62 per cent of men aged 45+ years reporting they feel less connected to their friends since the COVID-19 outbreak, compared with 41 per cent of men aged 25 to 34.

More than a fifth of men (22 per cent) reported their mental health had worsened compared with before the outbreak of COVID-19 and a third (29 per cent) admitted they felt lonely more often.

Dr Zac Seidler, Director of Mental Health Training, at Movember said: “These findings indicate that guys are hungry for connection and in need of support in these trying times.

“While we know these conversations can often feel uncomfortable or awkward, checking in on your mates and loved ones can make the world of difference. Don’t assume they don’t want to be bothered or don’t want to talk. Just making the call can go a long way.”

Movember is committed to tackling the crisis in men’s mental health through its investment in early intervention and prevention programs.

According to Brendan Maher, Movember Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, this is why the charity has launched Movember Conversations, a new easy-to-use interactive online tool, that offers practical guidance on how to start a difficult conversation and support someone who is struggling.

He said: “People know it’s important to have conversations to support others; however, confidence and knowledge around how to do this with men is low. What’s making things even harder are the challenges thrown up by COVID-19, and its consequences of physical distancing, job loss, financial stress and strain on relationships.”

Based on R U OK?’s ALEC conversation framework (Ask, Listen, Encourage action, Check in) and guided by an international team of mental health experts, Movember Conversations is a free interactive digital tool that presents a number of scenarios relevant to today’s world including job loss, social isolation and family pressures.

It uses simulated conversations to explore and practise how anyone might navigate a difficult conversation with someone they care about.

Brendan Maher added: “We hope that this tool will encourage people to have conversations with men they care about who might be going through a tough time. Movember Conversations gives them the practical skills to do that.”

CASE STUDY

Steve Smith, 55, from Newbury Berkshire, Cyber Security Manager, married with 2 adult kids. Served in the UK Armed Forces.

“Since the lockdown, I’ve found that I have isolated myself more from my network of buddies, I dropped off Facebook because of the amount of dross being shared and some peoples’ extreme views. Dropping out of Facebook has isolated me further from some of my normal contacts and sources of banter, so it has had a negative impact too. 

A group of my best mates always attend the Army v Navy rugby match each year and later we do British SuperBikes at Thruxton. Both take a few weeks of planning and lots of banter on group chats to get things co-ordinated – we have done both events for over a decade.  “This has all been put on hold and has left a big gap as many of the things we have in common which mean we communicate are now on hold, hence we are not talking as much as there is less reason.

 “I have a friend I work with who has split up with his wife just a few weeks before lockdown. He hasn’t left the house for days at a time. I tell him during work conference calls to call or text me if he needs me, but he doesn’t. He then tells me he’s very low during work calls and so the cycle repeats – 7 weeks now, and sometimes it’s really tough having those conversations and I don’t know what to say. I think there are many men like my friend, lonely and not helping themselves.”

I know how important it is to talk openly because I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression in the past. ‘Years of bottling up my emotions saw me make plans to end my life – but seeking professional help taught me how to change my way of thinking.”

Movember Conversations can found at conversations.movember.com

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davepickering

Edinburgh reporter and photographer