“He didn’t want to die. He just didn’t want the pain anymore.”
- Suicide Prevention Scotland launches a new documentary, What I Want You To Know
- The film follows Phil Wanless, whose son Fraser died by suicide in 2021
- It confronts the reality of trauma, relationships, substance use, isolation and suicide
- Released for World Suicide Prevention Day 2026, it’s available to watch on SuicidePrevention.scot/Fraser and YouTube
A groundbreaking new documentary has been launched today (Thursday 10 September) to mark World Suicide Prevention Day 2026.
What I want you to know is a powerful film from Suicide Prevention Scotland following bereaved father Phil Wanless as he seeks to understand his son Fraser’s death.
Suicide Prevention Scotland is the community of people and organisations delivering the Scottish Government and COSLA’s joint suicide prevention strategy, Creating Hope Together.
Running to 30 minutes, it gives one family’s story the space to explore some of the most difficult themes.
Ultimately, the film asks what might have been different if the people around Fraser, and Phil, had been met with time, space and compassion sooner.
Fraser was just eleven years old when he found his mum, Lisa, dead after she experienced a fatal epileptic seizure.
Phil’s journey has helped him understand that his son struggled to grieve her death. Later he turned to substance use and experienced difficult relationships.
Ultimately, the documentary challenges people to consider the principles of time, space and compassion, in every part of our lives – not just suicide prevention; that every one of us can help save lives.
Phil is joined by his partner Debbie Rowan, Fraser’s friend Darren Gallagher, Iain Corbett, a community development practitioner who has extensive experience working with young men, and John Gibson, founder of The Canmore Trust.
John and his wife Isobel lost their son Cameron to suicide in 2019.
A facilitation pack has also been launched so that a range of different groups and communities across Scotland can watch the film and talk about it together. It is designed for anyone, regardless of their experience.
In the documentary, Phil Wanless says of his son’s suicide: “Fraser and I spoke every day, whether it was a voice call or a text. I hadn’t heard from him for a day, and that was very unusual.
“I don’t believe he wanted to die. I just don’t think he wanted to live. He just didn’t want the pain any more.
“The boy that I brought up, bought his first football boots, and put his first Hearts top on, everything was gone in the blink of an eye. Part of my heart is missing. That’s the only way I can describe it. It’s not a cliché. Part of my heart is missing.
“It broke us. It took a family that was pretty close, and broke us. I wish I had the chance to tell Fraser right now how much I loved him.
“It is Fraser’s story, but it could be anybody’s story.”
The impact of Fraser’s death was profound, and was felt from as soon as Phil learned his son was gone. Eventually, he also planned to take his own life.
“There were no instructions on how to grieve. The only time anybody talked to me about my mind health was at the point of crisis. That has to be the wrong way round.
“Suicide is the end product, and it’s the permanent product. But the truth is, we want to reach anybody who’s feeling like that long before we get to crisis.
“We need to stop the idea that the first time you get to talk to anybody is when you’re thinking about taking your life. We have to treat mind health as every bit as important as physical health.”
Phil wants the principles of time, space and compassion to be taught from an early age. Only as a bereaved father has he learned about the impact of trauma.
“In my whole life nobody ever taught me about compassion, and yet it’s one of the most important things in life. I think we should be teaching it at school.”
Maree Todd MSP, Minister for Mental Wellbeing, Public Health, Sport, Alcohol and Drugs, said: “I want to thank Phil Wanless and his family and friends for their courage in sharing their experiences in this powerful film.
“Losing a loved one to suicide is a tragedy beyond measure and this documentary brings home the devastating impact. It also reminds us that opening up conversations about suicide and encouraging people to seek help can save lives.
“Our work on suicide prevention is informed and guided by those with lived and living experience. I am determined that we learn from Fraser’s tragic death as we continue that work to ensure that anyone with thoughts of suicide or impacted by suicide in any way gets the help they need and feels a sense of hope.
“Our Suicide Prevention Action Plan – joint with COSLA – aims to reduce deaths by suicide whilst also tackling the inequalities that can increase the risk of suicide, and is backed by a budget of £3 million in 2026–27.”
Councillor Paul Kelly, COSLA Health and Social Care Spokesperson, said: “Phil Wanless’ story of his son Fraser’s tragic death, and of his own experiences of bereavement and suicide, is incredibly moving.
“Thank you, Phil, for sharing so openly. The documentary powerfully shows how deeply suicide is felt by friends, families, and wider communities, and is a clear call to action for all of us.
“The film is also striking in how it tells us about the complexities of Fraser’s life, with trauma, substance use, and relationships all having a significant impact. It reminds us of the importance of ensuring our work on suicide prevention in Scotland continues to address the wider factors in our lives.
“The COSLA and Scottish Government Suicide Prevention strategy and action plan sets out our vision and I am committed to ensuring that anyone who is having suicidal thoughts or is bereaved by suicide can access the support they need, when they need, and that local government does all it can to both provide support and address the wider social factors that can impact on suicide risk.
“Phil has told us what he wants us to know, and now we must all act.”
Suicide Prevention Scotland’s national delivery lead Haylis Smith says: “The film shines a light on the reality of suicide in a way that hasn’t happened before. I know Phil doesn’t think he’s extraordinary, that he’s simply a grieving father angry after the loss of his son.
“But Fraser’s death will not be in vain, because Phil, Debbie and their families have opened up their home and lives in a way that will help so many people think about how to support people who experience trauma. He is extraordinary, because Phil’s intervention will save lives. We might never know who, but it will.
“We can see in the film where there were missed opportunities for time, space, compassion. It shows what their absence feels like, how much there still is to learn about reaching people long before a crisis and how we can all play a part in supporting people at risk of, or impacted by suicide.”
