NHS Lothian Bereavement Service will be running the next Bereavement Support Group on Tuesday 31 January, from 2pm to 3.30 pm at Cameron House Education Centre.
If you wish to come along, then please call on 0131 242 1996 or email bereavement.service@nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk
Times are extremely hard for many now, especially those who have lost someone during the last two years.
The mental health of the bereaved has particularly suffered during these uncertain times, so a not-for-profit funeral director has launched Caledonia Funeral Aid which aims to provide an extra support system for recently bereaved people in Edinburgh.
Caledonia Funeral Aid is an extension of the work of Caledonia Cremation – a social enterprise funeral directors set up to fight funeral poverty by offering not-for-profit cremations.
Since their inception in 2018, they have been supporting Scots facing the additional stress of not being able to afford a funeral. During that time, the social enterprise found the support required wasn’t just financial, but practical and emotional too. So, they have extended their offer by launching Caledonia Funeral Aid.
Co-founder John Halliday explained: “We have learnt that just providing a not-for-profit funeral wasn’t enough – people needed more. By setting up Caledonia Funeral Aid– we will provide full emotional and practical support to the recently bereaved.
“We will provide a trained coach and funeral support worker to help Edinburgh residents who have experienced a bereavement in the past 6 months. This support will focus on their emotional needs. We will deeply listen to their needs and give them a safe and trusted place in which to discuss their loss and the impact on their lives.
“We are delighted to launch this initially in Edinburgh, thanks to funding from Edinburgh Community Mental Health and Wellbeing Fund. However, our aim is to launch this nationwide very shortly.
“With the average cost of a basic funeral sitting at £4,000, we receive calls from many people, especially those experiencing in-work poverty or students, who just can’t afford that amount. They don’t qualify for financial help and have nowhere to turn. We never turn anyone away and through the fundraising efforts of Caledonia Funeral Aid we hope to extend our help to even more bereaved Scots nationwide.
“We accept donations through our website and our team are also doing all the Kiltwalk this year so anyone wo wants to help us support more bereaved Scots can find a way to do so online.”
Those wishing to access the support can call 03000 11 33 01.
The new year has got off to a bad start, and everyone has felt the negative effects of the recent restrictions caused by the rise of the Omicron variant. Plus the cost of basic household bills are rising. So, for those from low-income families who experience a bereavement, life must seem especially difficult.
So, a charity-owned funeral director has responded to the current Covid and cost of living crisis by offering pay-what-you can funerals for Lothian residents who have lost someone for the remainder of January.
2021 was a tough year for many. It also started with severe Covid restrictions which disproportionately affected low-income workers. Later in the year, it was announced that the £20 uplift in Universal Credit was to be removed, affecting over 450,000 Scottish households.
And this year, hard-up families face a rise in energy prices and inflation, leading to what has been described as “a cost-of-living crisis”. So, not surprisingly, 2022 may be looking very bleak for some Scottish families.
John Halliday, Co-Founder of Caledonia Cremation today announces a scheme to support bereaved people experiencing hardship this January: “Caledonia Cremation is not a traditional funeral director. When we launched in 2018, we became Scotland’s only social-enterprise funeral director. That means our first concern is people and not profits.
“I see all around that this pandemic has made rich people richer and poorer people poorer. I strongly feel it is up to society to do our bit now in helping those worst affected, however we can.
“People need better food, cheaper housing, catch-up education and help back into work. We can’t do all those things, but what we can do something about the cost of funerals.
“Sadly, it is a fact of life that everyone needs a funeral. But for some people their funeral is the most expensive purchase they ever make. The average cost of a basic funeral is over four thousand pounds.
“So, our contribution is this – we’ve decided to remove all our fees and just let bereaved families pay-what- you-can during this pandemic recovery period.
“There is no means testing, we trust people to know what they can and cannot afford.
“No one anywhere has ever done this before, so we are learning as we go.
“If someone wants to know the usual price, we can tell them. If generous people want to add more towards our fundraising to tackle the root causes of poverty, that is fantastic. But if all they can find to cover the funeral is a few hundred pounds, that’s absolutely fine too.
“No one should judge your worth based on the size of your savings.
“We hope everyone has a happy and healthy 2022, but if the unthinkable happens, then please know you are not alone – we are here and will do everything we can to support you throughout your loss.”
TOMORROW at 4pm
BLUE CHRISTMAS SERVICE
A time to offer solace to those who have experienced the loss of a loved one and are grieving or have mixed emotions about the festive season.
THURSDAY 11 NOVEMBER 5 – 7pm
DRYLAW PARISH CHURCH, GROATHILL ROAD NORTH
FUTURE SERVICES:
Dear Letters Editor,
With National Grief Awareness Day on 30 August, I’d like to highlight Cats Protection’s grief support service for cat owners.
Now in its fifth year, Paws to Listen is there for anyone facing the heartbreak of losing their cat, struggling with issues like euthanasia, or whose cat has gone missing. It is a free and confidential service, connecting callers with a volunteer listener over the telephone or via email.
Pet loss is not always fully recognised in society as a significant loss, causing many to be reluctant to talk about their grief. Additionally, Covid restrictions in the past year or so have often meant that people could not be with their pets at the point of euthanasia, which has compounded people’s grief. We feel it is important to normalise pet grief and let people know that they’re not alone and it’s OK to talk about it.
This year, our Paws to Listen service is being supported by players of People’s Postcode Lottery. I’d like to say a huge thank you to them for their continued support, which is also helping us to take care of cats at our centres and speak up for cats through our campaigning work.
The Paws to Listen phone line is open 9am-5pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) and can be reached on 0800 024 94 94.
Alternatively, people can get in touch via an online form at: www.cats.org.uk/grief
Yours faithfully,
Catherine Joyce
Paws to Listen Team Leader, Cats Protection
Apart of Me, the design-led company that supports young people and their families through the heartbreak of grief via a mobile App, has received a double-boost as it seeks to help those suffering loss from the pandemic.
Firstly, their application to become a charity was not just approved, but fast-tracked by the Charity Commission. The Commission acknowledged both the importance of the serviceto children and young people affected by grief and the time-sensitive nature of the work given the legacy of loss caused by Covid-19.
In a second piece of good news for the charity, it was announced today that they had been named winners in the London Mayoral Resilience Fund, a scheme set up by Mayor Sadiq Khan to help the capital city bounce back against Coronavirus.
Apart of Me has been appointed to run projects to help young people in London bereaved due to coronavirus. The charity’s aim is to apply the same clinical approach and methods they use in their award-winning App to help young people combat their grief.
Apart of Me launched in 2018 as an innovative app-based adventure game that helps bereaved children use their mobile phones or tablets to help cope with the grief and confusion caused by the loss of a loved one.
“When we launched Apart of Me a couple of years ago, little did we know how badly it would be needed today, with so many children and young people left grieving for loved ones as a result of Covid-19,” said Louis Weinstock, the child psychologist who co-founded the organisation with tech entrepreneur Ben Page in 2018.
“Whilst all the talk at the moment is of our desire to return to normality, millions of children around the world have lost parents, grandparents and care-givers from this pandemic. They need our support.”
Acknowledging their new charitable status, Weinstock said, “Charity means ‘compassion’. Having our registration expedited by the Charity Commission not only confirms the urgency of our mission, but it will also allow us to fundraise and accelerate towards our goal of helping every grieving young person transform their grief into compassion.”
From the outset the goal for Apart of Me was to combine bereavement-counseling techniques with 3D animation and gaming developments to create an app-based game that could help children and young people find a path through grief to compassion. Since then, the app has been downloaded nearly 100,000 times, receiving critical acclaim from clinical leaders and those who have used it.
Henry, who was 18 when his father died of cancer, describes the impact the game had on him. “Apart of Me was my guiding light in the dark when I felt incredibly alone, lost and confused. It helped me to understand what I was going through and took the loneliness of the whole experience away.”
A worldwide focus on mental health in recent years has seen established game developers attempt to tackle the concepts of anxiety and self-worth head-on.
Apart of Me have been pioneers in this field with Louis and Ben collaborating with 126 skilled volunteers around the world to build their app, which was highlighted as a best-in-class app for safe and accessible support by Good Thinking, London’s Digital Mental Wellbeing Service (backed by the London Mayor’s office, Public Health England, London councils, the NHS and ThriveLDN).
Louis’ work has previously been acknowledged by the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, under the Government’s ‘Points of Light’ scheme.
In a personal letter to Louis, Prime Minister Boris Johnson said: “I know you do this with no thought of praise or reward, but allow me to offer my own recognition of how you have created innovative, accessible grief counselling which has supported thousands of young people in the UK and abroad.”
When someone dies there is a lot of official paperwork that needs to be completed – some even comes with deadlines and fines if not processed properly and timely. As the UK’s community bank, Metro Bank has a specialist bereavement team to support anyone processing the administration at every stage through the bereavement process.
The team has created a practical guide to help everyone to understand what they need to do when dealing with the key stages of administration that surrounds a death.
“Losing someone is hard enough, without having to deal with all the official paperwork that has to be completed,” explains Dave Craggs, director of customer support, Metro Bank. “Our bereavement team has the empathy and expertise to guide and support at these difficult moments and this practical guide explains the key steps in the process that need to be taken.”
1. The medical certificate of cause of death.
When someone dies, a doctor needs to issue a medical certificate for the cause of death. This is the first stage of managing the paperwork needed to process every aspect of bereavement administration.
The certificate needs to include the name, age, place and cause of death about the deceased. If the cause of death is clear, this certificate can be issued straightaway, otherwise you can expect a delay until further investigations have been carried out. Once any investigations have been completed, a Coroners Certificate of fact of death will be issued and the death can then be registered.
2. Registering the death
Every death has to be legally registered. If you’re in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, you will have five days to register a death. In Scotland you have up to eight days.
You will need to make an appointment at the register office near to the place of death and bring the medical certificate of cause of death with some identification proof such as the deceased’s passport, driving licence or birth certificate to the appointment. Once you have registered the death the registrar will issue you with the Death Certificate.
Full details can be found on the government website and the registrar will also explain about this government web page that enables you to tell the government about the death, so all of its agencies are simultaneously informed at once including- for example – state pension, disability benefits and council services.
3. The Will & The Estate
If the deceased has a Will the named executor/s will deal with the estate. They will need to obtain a Grant of Probation by completing a probate form which can be found online here.as well as an inheritance tax form or by calling 0300 123 1072.
If there is no Will, a relative will be appointed as an administrator to deal with the estate. They will need to obtain Letters of Administration.
The deceased person’s property and belongings are called the estate.
Part of managing the estate includes the disposal of assets, payment of outstanding bills and debts as well as advising all the relevant organisations such as telecoms, social media, energy, financial services including insurance and banking for which there may be direct debits and standing orders as well as money and investments.
4. The Bank
The deceased’s bank will play an integral part in the bereavement administration and each bank’s processes may vary slightly. If the deceased banked with Metro Bank, you can inform us in person by visiting your local Metro Bank store, by phone, or via post and ask for the support of the bereavement team.
The bereavement team will take you through the process step by step. You will need to supply them with some documentation including the original death certificate, or an interim death certificate plus proof of your identification (i.e. passport, driving licence etc.) as well as the original Will.
If there isn’t a Will the bereavement team can still help you with collecting a person’s estate, in line with Government guidelines.
Once the bereavement team has all the necessary documents, they can help organise any money, property and possessions held with us. We will then guide you through what happens with each type of account – be it current, savings, joint, loans, investment or credit cards and how any funeral invoices and inheritance tax can be paid and settled.
You’ll need to either visit us in store, email the Bereavement Team – bereavement.services@metrobank.plc.uk or via post to make these final arrangements and complete the necessary forms. We can also help with paying for the funeral – for example if there are sufficient funds belonging to the deceased in an account held with us, we can pay funeral costs directly to the funeral director. All we need is a final invoice.
Alternatively, we can reimburse the funeral costs you have already covered. All you need to do is send us a proof of the payment and the person who made it, along with the final funeral invoice.
5. Useful Links
Dave Craggs: “A person’s life is full of meaningful activity and interactions – each of which has to be closed off properly when they die. Managing this entire process can take months and be complex depending on the volume of their personal contacts, possessions, property, money and investments, but help is at hand.”
There are many organisations that can help with this process including:
Metro Bank – Bereavement Team
UK Government – what to do when someone dies
Demystifying Death Week, 10 – 16 May, is about giving people knowledge, skills & opportunities to plan & support each other through death, dying, loss & care.
@StColumbas will be taking part in the Week’s activities.
Demystifying Death Week is about giving people knowledge, skills and opportunities to plan and support each other through death, dying, loss and care. Here in Scotland, the Week is organised by Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief as part of the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care (SPPC) and it runs in parallel to Dying Matters week in England.
“If people know a bit more about death and dying, they’re in a better position to take control of their own situation, support others, make plans and have informed decisions about what they’d want when the time comes,” said Rebecca Patterson, Director of Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief.
At St Columba’s, our Supportive Care and Compassionate Communities teams and wider Hospice community will be engaging with Demystifying Death Week through supporting and taking part in the programme of activities. We wanted to share these with you in case you would like to sign up for any of the events too.
Here are some of the workshops and webinars available:
Unexpected Consequences: A Webinar on Bereavement: Tuesday 11 May, 13:30 to 15:15
Topics:
Loss & the Creative Arts: Music, Poetry & other Arts as Expression of Grief: Thursday 13 May 2021, 13:00 to 15:00
This is an event for Dying Matters Week, chaired by Professor Lynne Gabriel and Dr John Wilson of York St John University Counselling and Mental Health Centre, who will introduce the work of (in alphabetical order):
The event will be of interest to those who are grieving and anyone who works with death, dying, bereavement and grief, including counsellors, bereavement supporters and volunteers who are interested in working more creatively. The event will include a question and answer session.
Find out more
You may also be interested in accesssing a series of free webinars offered by Child Bereavement UK for professionals working with children and young people in Scotland:
Find out more about Demystifying Death Week via the Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief website here:
Please find more info on our website: https://stcolumbashospice.org.uk/news/
Held In Our Heart’s participation in 2021’s Kiltwalk event signals a step towards normality for the people of Scotland. The Kiltwalk fundraising platform has been designed to turbocharge fundraising, and is often used by supporters of charities to support their cause, or to thank them for their services that they themselves have used.
Whilst this year’s Kiltwalk event is virtual in nature, the role in which this Kiltwalk plays in constructing community bonds, spirit, and the development of connections, compassion, and friendship is critical to the operations of Held In Our Heart, and for the bereaved families who use its services.
One such example of this, is the story of Ian and Brenda who got involved with Held In Our Hearts in 2019 after tragically losing their baby boy Fraser at one month old from sepsis.
They said: “Fraser was born 11th August 2019 just before 32 weeks weighing 3lb 1oz. He spent 4 weeks in the Neonatal Unit and came on so amazingly that we welcomed him home on 4th September.
“A few days later he didn’t seem right…I phoned NHS 24 and was given an appointment to take him to outpatients. After a couple of hours we were given the devastating news that Fraser had sepsis and was unlikely to make it through.
“We spent the next few days spending time with Fraser, family and friends visiting him and making memories with help from the Neonatal unit and CHAS.
“On 11th September doctors did a brain scan and told us it was time to take away the machines, our Fraser was gone. We held him as he peacefully slipped away.
“When we were put in touch with Held in our Hearts they were amazing. So welcoming and understanding. As a family we want to do something to give back for all the support they have given us even despite the restrictions that lockdown imposed and that is why this year we are doing the Kiltwalk in Fraser’s name to help raise funds so they can continue to provide support for all bereaved families.”
Held In Our Heart fundraising manager, Tracy Watt, said: “The Virtual Kiltwalk is a chance for us as a community to engage and connect with others, and although we are not able to walk together physically we can focus on 23-25th April in the knowledge that we are not alone.
“The Kiltwalk is an event that is for all ages and abilities and not just for walking, you can swim or cycle too.
“What sets this weekend apart from all other kilwalk events is that you can choose your own challenge and make it a weekend of being together in spirit and all sharing the same goal in support of our bereaved families.”
Held In Our Hearts are continuing efforts to provide baby loss counselling and support to families, and have seen a successful adaptation to the shifted landscape of support services directly linked to the current pandemic and various restrictions, and regulations.
The 2021 Kiltwalk event holds a particularly special place in the hearts and minds of everyone at the charity. The Kiltwalk event is a clear way to connect further with the bereaved families who use, and have used, Held In Our Hearts services – much in the same way the Kiltwalk event provides these families with the ability to express their gratitude to the kindness and compassion given to them in their journey of grief.
