Signs that a child could be a victim of grooming

THE grooming gangs scandal has raised fears among many parents and carers about the safety of children and young people. 

Even as calls grow for a national enquiry, it appears unlikely new measures will be rolled out anytime soon to safeguard those at risk. 

It means parents and carers will be increasingly concerned about the risks children may be left exposed to by groomers preying on the vulnerable.

With this in mind author, counsellor and wellbeing expert Lynn Crilly has issued advice around how to spot the signs of grooming.

Lynn says:  “In a recent survey I did with my thousands Instagram followers 71% of people said they were worried about their children or grandchildren being groomed. These figures show that more needs to be done to raise awareness and educate people on the dark side of the online and real world.

“There are two types of grooming and each case is different, as is the time scale grooming can take place over.”

Outlining the different types of grooming, Lynn continued: “Grooming can take place in person but a groomer can be a total stranger or someone the victim already knows. It might be a family member, friend, or someone at a club they go to. The connection makes it easier and quicker to build up trust.

“Groomers are very good at disguising and being deceitful as to who they really are. They are good at hiding behind a keyboard, where they can take on any identity they desire, making it easier to befriend a child or young adult. The internet has a very dark side to it and this can be infiltrated in text messages, social media networks, emails, voice and video chats, forums, gaming, sadly the list is endless.

The groomers themselves are also very clever at manipulating the child or young person, so it can be really hard to detect and difficult to spot.”

Here, Lynn outlines the signs that might indicate that a child is being groomed:

Secretive behaviour: It could be a red flag if your child starts to become secretive about their online or offline activities. This also includes being protective of their devices including their phones.

Talks a lot about a specific older child or adult: Or they suddenly wants to spend more time with them, maybe meeting them alone.

Inappropriate knowledge: If a child displays knowledge or behaviour that is inappropriate for their age, such as sexualized language or understanding as this indicate exposure to adult situations 

Avoidance of certain people: if a child is ill at ease around certain adults and is not keen to be in their company this should also be explored as to why they do.

Isolating themselves: If a child spends more time alone in their room, or declines invites to be with friends or family, becoming withdrawn and isolated.

Unexplained gifts: Unexplained gifts and presents appearing without any real explanations to where they have come from. They do not want to talk about where they have come from and openly lies about it.

Stop talking to their trusted adult: As the child withdraws from their normal safe, secure everyday life they will also start to not talk to their trusted adult, lie about where they have been and who with so making it harder for the adult to keep track of where they are.

Physical signs: Look for unexplained injuries or changes in physical appearance that may indicate abuse.

Lynn added: “There are many reasons a child or young person can change their behaviour, and in my experience, no one knows their young person better than their parent, grandparent, or a loving carer. 

“So if you think something is amiss, then you are probably right. Please do not leave it, talk to your child and arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can so you can find the appropriate help and support your child or loved one.”