Barnardo’s supporters and former TOWIE stars Debbie Douglas and daughter Lydia Bright are backing an urgent appeal by children’s charity Barnardo’s for more foster carers to look after vulnerable teenagers throughout the UK. The leading children’s charity is appealing to people in Edinburgh to consider fostering.
Debbie who has fostered 250 children and teenagers over the past 25 years, her daughter Lydia and teenage foster daughter Ellie are fronting Barnardo’s campaign for more foster carers.
It’s estimated that there are almost 50,000 teenagers in care in the UK – around 60% of the total number of looked-after children. But despite estimates that a child goes into care every 20 minutes in the UK*, there are not enough foster carers to look after them, says the leading national children’s charity which has been caring for children for more than 150 years.
Debbie and Lydia have seen first-hand the positive difference fostering can have on teenagers and foster carers and they understand the difficulties many youngsters face.
Debbie said: “Being a teenager is hard at the best of times and being a teenager in care can be even harder. Having a stable, happy, loving home where you can relax and be yourself while knowing you are genuinely cared for is so important. Every teenager deserves this opportunity.”
A survey for Barnardo’s revealed that out of the 2,156 people polled across the UK, some of the toughest issues people in Edinburgh faced when they were teenagers, included feeling depressed (23%), worrying about being popular (44%), being bullied (29%) and worrying about their appearance (57%).
Lydia who enjoyed a happy childhood growing up with her foster siblings said: “All teenagers have worries growing up, whether it’s about how popular you are, the way you look, or struggling with school. That’s why it’s so important to have people who care to talk things through.”
The YouGov poll also highlighted that people in Edinburgh thought how the simple little things can help teenagers feel safe, loved and cared for.
When asked how parents and carers should support a teenager (93%) of Edinburgh respondents said they should listen to them, (89%) spend quality time with them and (81%) praise them when they do something well.
Debbie said: “It’s so important to show you care, whether that’s asking them about their day, or giving them praise when they’ve done something well. As a family we’re so pleased we’ve been able to give this support to young people like Ellie, who has been part of our family for 11 years.”
Foster daughter Ellie, 18, explained: “Being part of Debbie and Lydia’s family has made such a positive difference to my life. Just having someone there for you when you get home from school, someone to listen to you, or give you a hug when you need it can make such a difference.”
Sue Brunton, Assistant Director for Fostering in Scotland, said: “This survey shows the fundamental role parents, guardians and carers play in a child’s life. It’s important teenagers have this support; knowing your foster carer and family isthere for them when they need them means everything.
“While fostering may be challenging our foster carers all agree it’s rewarding, fun and one of the best things they’ve ever done.”
Alastair Redpath, fostered with Barnardo’s Scotland, puts his positive outcome in life down to the stability he had through his teenager years living with foster carers who gave him security and a platform to succeed.
“Foster carers can make such a big difference in someone’s life. When you’re on the other-side, when you haven’t had care experience, you don’t understand how even the smallest act of kindness or offer of support can make the biggest difference.”
Barnardo’s Scotland’s Director, Martin Crewe, said: “Without enough foster families thousands of teenagers risk the heartbreak of being moved around and separated from their siblings.
“Foster families support teenagers and help them learn essential life skills which are vital in helping them go on to lead positive independent lives. Being a teenager can be tough but having the support of a stable caring family can transform their lives. I’d urge anyone considering becoming a foster carer to contact us today.”
To enquire about fostering visit Barnardo’s website at www.barnardos.org.uk/fostering
Alistair Redpath: From ‘wild child’ to Foster Panel member thanks to fostering and positive parenting
In Alastair’s words his first experience of being fostered was not the most positive, at six-years-old his first placement was fleeting and over almost before it began – the cause – he didn’t want to go out on his bike and threw a tantrum – and that was the end of that, the carers decided not to go ahead with fostering Alastair!
Fortunately the ‘emergency’ placement that followed was a success, lasting a very happy two-and-a-half-years with a foster family in the Scottish Borders.
The next ten years that followed Alastair (below, front centre)spent living in a rural setting on a farm in Fife. Although there was more limited access to people, it also opened up different opportunities for him.
Throughout Alastair’s teenage year’s he lived with his new family Ebby and John and their two birth children. He says he was very fortunate they wanted to foster an older child. He was the middle of three and enjoyed having an older and younger brother, they all got on well and had a really good relationship.
Like all teenagers, Alastair was challenging at times, he admits there was the potential for ‘things to be really difficult’, which were amplified by the fact that he was fostered, but Ebby and John focussed on activities Alastair was good at, ‘they always thought about doing things in ways that would help me’. And he was always able to talk through any issues with them which he really appreciated.
No matter what external issues or problems that occurred Ebby and John kept Alastair on a strong path and made sure he had a good education.
They were also very inventive when it came to tackling any teenage negative behaviour. “If I stepped out of line I was asked to weed the garden, or do some other useful task which defused the situation.”
Following his time in foster care, Alastair joined the Fostering Panel for Barnardo’s Scotland, assessing new foster carers –this involved sitting on the foster panel with three or four other members making recommendations of the suitability of people to be foster carers – and if there’s one thing for sure, it’s that Alastair would know who did and who did not have what it takes to be one.
When Alastair was 20 he moved from Fife to Glasgow where he trained as a retail supervisor with various companies. He was recently nominated by Barnardo’s to participate in the Scottish Government’s Independent Care Review for children and young people in care. He is part of the initial discovery phase of the Care Review, which will feed in to legislative change for young care leavers across Scotland.
Alastair puts his positive outcome in life down to the stability he had through his teenager years living with Ebby and John who gave him security and a platform to succeed.
“Foster carers can make such a big difference in someone’s life. When you’re on the other-side, when you haven’t had care experience, you don’t understand how even the smallest act of kindness or offer of support can make the biggest difference.”
Alastair said ‘luck’ played a large part in how the placement worked for him – lucky that he was placed with a couple who had bags of enthusiasm; lucky they were new to fostering, lucky they had time and wanted to commit to becoming foster carers; lucky he was their first foster child and they wanted to do their best for him; lucky that they were at a good place in their life and lucky that they were determined to be the best foster parents they could be! That’s a lot of luck or what our foster teams would call the ideal credentials for being a foster carer.
Alastair lives in Glasgow but says his ‘home will always be in Fife with Ebby and John’ whom he thanks for their ‘great parenting and support’.
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