Community police take to the Twittersphere

Police in North Edinburgh are to use Twitter to update residents and link in with local groups and organisations.

Inspector Mark Rennie of Drylaw Police Station said “As from 1 April the Community Policing Teams at Drylaw and Leith Police Stations will be posting ‘tweets’ to highlight activity in the area and provide details of their work. It’s an important development for us as we can reach a fairly large audience quickly, get information out to young people in a way they appreciate, and also provide clear and instantaneous information about ongoing incidents in the area”.

For local police updates on Twitter: follow @EdinburghNorthPolice

DRYLAW POLICE STATION - stable block? — DRYLAW POLICE STATION

‘Bedroom Tax’ – minister demands fair deal for Scotland

Today (1 April) is day one of the Westminster government’s controversial welfare reforms. The Scottish government pre-empted the changes with two statements on the eve of the changes:

If the UK Government proceed to impose their plans for the bedroom tax on Scotland then Scotland must get its fair share of funds to deal with both the human and financial impact, Welfare Minister Margaret Burgess said yesterday.

In a letter to the UK Welfare Reform Minister Lord Freud, Mrs Burgess (picured below) demanded a fair deal for Scotland to address the potentially devastating impact of the bedroom tax, which is set to impoverish families and individuals.

The Scottish Government is completely opposed to the bedroom tax, which will affect 16,000 families with children in Scotland, but if UK Ministers proceed with cuts then Scotland must get its fair share of Discretionary Housing Payment (DHP) funding, says Mrs Burgess.

Despite both Scotland and London having the same number of households hit by the bedroom tax, Lord Freud is set to award London with £56.5 million of DHP compared to only £10 million in Scotland.

Welfare Minister Burgess said: “The bedroom tax is a socially divisive measure that will increase social inequalities across Scotland. It’s a policy that the Scottish Government is totally against as it hits our most vulnerable citizens in these already challenging economic conditions.

“This is a policy devised in London on the basis of housing benefit increases and overcrowding. However, in inflation-adjusted terms, 93 per cent of the housing benefit increase is attributable to the situation in England whilst London has almost two and a half times the level of overcrowded households compared to Scotland.

“We have consistently made that case to UK Government Ministers that we are opposed to these cuts – if they proceed to impose their plans then Scotland must get its fair share of funds to deal with both the human and financial impact.

“The small levels of DHP in Scotland is woefully inadequate and unfair to deal with the impact and scale of this policy.

“Civic Scotland is united in opposition to the bedroom tax and this Government has already taken action to strengthen the protection against eviction for rent arrears in advance of the introduction of the tax. From 1 August 2012 we brought pre-action requirements for rent arrears into force to ensure that proceedings for eviction is always the last resort.

“We are also providing an extra £2.5 million to social landlords for advice services to ensure there is support on hand for people who will lose housing benefit due to the under occupancy measures and other housing benefit cuts being introduced by Westminster from April.

“The UK Government’s agenda is completely at odds with the values of the people of Scotland and the aspirations that this Government has for our nation. Only through independence can Scotland have the levers required to create a welfare system that is aligned to Scottish needs and values.”

Thousands of vulnerable people in Scotland will be protected from increased Council Tax bills following the UK Government’s abolition of council tax benefit this week, Cabinet Secretary for Finance, Employment and Sustainable Growth John Swinney announced yesterday.

Around 560,000 people will receive support to ensure they are not affected by the UK Government’s 10 per cent cut in funding for Council Tax Benefit successor arrangements.

The Scottish Government and local authorities in Scotland are working in partnership to invest £40 million in 2013/14 to bridge the funding gap and mitigate the impact of the UK Government’s benefit cuts.

Mr Swinney (pictured below) said: “Hard working and vulnerable people are having to bear the brunt of these Westminster benefit cuts. Instead of protecting our poorest households, Westminster has responded to this recession by imposing deeply damaging welfare cuts which will make it far harder for people to meet the rising cost of living.

“To ensure households across Scotland do not face additional burdens the Scottish Government and Scotland’s councils are providing £40 million in 2013/14 to ensure that around 560,000 people in Scotland are protected from this reduction.

“Whilst Council tax bills will be increasing in many areas of England as a result of benefit cuts we are using the limited resources we have to ensure vulnerable people do not have to face increasing bills.

“We are determined to do everything that we reasonably can to help those who need it most, however we cannot meet every Westminster cut. We are making available an extra £2.5 million to social landlords to help them ensure that people affected by housing benefit changes have the advice and support they need.

“And we are providing £5.4 to organisations such as Citizens Advice to help those affected by benefit reforms. This extra support will assist social landlords in their efforts to engage directly with affected tenants and seek to identify ways in which they can deal with the impact of the changes.

“These unjust policies show why we need the powers of independence to protect vulnerable people rather than simply trying to cushion the blows in Scotland. It would be far better to control benefits and welfare so unfair policies like abolishing Council Tax benefit are not even considered, let alone implemented. “

Left wing firebrand and IDS are ‘old chums’

Left wing campaigner Willie Black (pictured above) hit the headlines last week when he branded Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith a ‘scumbag’ at a conference in Edinburgh’s posh George Hotel. The Granton man’s attack on the Tory minister was seen by millions on news broadcasts and across social media sites – but what viewers didn’t know is that Black is actually related to some of the noblest families in the land, and that he and Duncan Smith are in fact old friends!

“It’s true”, said retired merchant banker Farquhar Finlay-Cameron. “William does indeed have blue blood in his veins and he can trace his family history back many generations. The Blackstone-Cuthbertson family seat was in the western highlands, as I recall. William and I roomed together at boarding school and he often stayed with our family over the school hols. We got up to some really jolly japes, I can tell you! We lost touch when William went down to Oxford and I went to Cambridge, but we still meet up at the start of the grouse shooting season every year. It was rather a shock to see him attacking IDS on television as I know the pair were inseparable at Oxford – they were known as ‘Laurel and Hardy’! Mother was very upset when she saw William’s outburst on television – he used to have such a cultured voice and she felt he sounded rather uncouth! I shall certainly rib him about this if I see him at Royal Ascot this summer!”

IAIN DUNCAN SMITH 'inseperable' — IAIN DUNCAN SMITH ‘inseperable’

Theatre impresario Sir Cyril Westmacott-Smythe was an Oxford contemporary, studying Classics with ‘Laurel and Hardy’. He recalls: “I was one of the less privileged students but IDS and Wills always treated me as an equal – I remember Wills was kind enough to give me one of his old smoking jackets and the occasional morning suit. He was like that – so generous to us poorer types. I shall always be grateful for his support – and I still treasure the opera glasses Wills and IDS bought me as a graduation gift.

“Oh, we had such fun – there were some memorable characters but Wills and IDS were the life and soul of every soiree. Wills was a particularly good pianist and he and Iain would regularly entertain us with songs from the Gilbert and Sullivan songbook. They were supremely talented and much admired, and I had rather hoped to take the pair up to Edinburgh for the Fringe, as a Hinge and Bracket type duo. Sadly politics prevailed and it wasn’t to be – theatre’s loss was the class struggle’s gain, as it were – although they do say that politics is pantomime, so you could say the chaps are still performing and putting on a show! I do hope to meet up with them at Klosters next winter when we can relive those halcyon days.”

Willie Black claims to be a lifelong socialist and is currently a leading light in the North Edinburgh Fights Back campaign group. One comrade, who asked not to be named, said: “A few of us have had our suspicions about Willie for some time. Aye, he talked a good talk about the working class struggle and that, but when we went for a drink after our meetings he only ever sipped Pimm’s and lemonade. And after one demo when we stopped for chips Willie brought a silver knife and fork out of the pocket of his donkey jacket – and a clean napkin! Aye, some of us had our doubts and we’ve been proved right – another champagne socialist!”

Willie Black – or rather William Blackstone-Cuthbertson – was unavailable for comment, but his friend Rupert suggested he may be salmon fishing on the Balmoral estate with Toby and Crispin.

Iain Duncan Smith was also unavailable for comment but a spokesperson said the minister ‘hopes to do some recreational angling over the Easter holidays’.

Neigh need for police cars!

Drylaw Police Station to close as Police Scotland opts for horse power

The chief of Scotland’s new national police force has vowed to wrong foot the country’s criminal fraternity – by replacing cars with horses! And Drylaw Police Station looks set to become a stable block under radical new plans.

Chief Constable Stephen House (pictured below) has ‘taken the reins’ at Police Scotland, which today officially replaces Scotland’s eight regional police forces. The new boss has promised to seek new ways to crack down on crime, and in a controversial move one of the first things he will do is replace hundreds of police cars, vans and motorcycles with … horses!

“It’s true”, he confirmed. “Police Scotland, like every other organisation in the country, faces financial challenges and we must look at our costs and try to make economies. We have inherited a large fleet of vehicles which are expensive to run and maintain, and are also very bad for the environment. I propose to replace the vast majority of these vehicles with police horses – at substantial savings to the taxpayer.

“Horses are much cheaper to run – they only need straw, oats and a handful of carrots – and this will be much better for the environment too. Horses are adaptable, can easily handle adverse weather conditions and, unlike motor vehicles, they can jump walls and fences! The public will even benefit from free manure for their gardens, so it really is a ‘win, win’ scenario. I am genuinely excited about the possibilities of this initiative.”

The switch to horsepower will see Drylaw Police Station converted to a state of the art stable enclosure for new equine recruits.

“We all know that crime levels are falling so we will need fewer police stations,” Mr House went on. “Drylaw isn’t that busy, so we will convert that building to a new stable facility for the horses. The police officers currently based at Drylaw will be retrained and will learn important new skills – grooming, cleaning tack, mucking out and things like that – which will give them something to do if there aren’t any criminals to catch. My officers are enthusiastic and adaptable, and we will need new skills for a new era in policing.”

Scotland’s criminal fraternity do not seem over-concerned about the Police Scotland initiative, however. Former crime boss Robert ‘Big Boab’ Baxter, who now writes exclusively on crime-related matters for the Daily Record, said: “Ma pals – sorry, former associates, won’t exactly be quaking in their boots when they hear this! Horses! I think Mister Hoose is semi-detached!”

Glasgow businessman Baxter, who was dubbed the ‘Barlanark Butcher’ before becoming a respectable security adviser, went on: “I’m looking forward to watching Red Rum and Dobbin taking on a Jag or a BMW in a race up the M8! Maybe the Chief Constable thinks he’s John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. What’s next – the sheriff and his deputies and getting a posse together? He’s havin’ a laugh!”

It’s understood the Chief Constable’s conversion to horse power didn’t come from watching old Westerns – but sources close to the Chief confirm that he was influenced by seeing Oscar-nominated film ‘War Horse’.

A spokesperson for the Scottish Police Authority, which oversees the new police organisation, dismissed criticism and insisted the reforms will go ahead. He said: “Yes, Stephen worked in Strathclyde but this is not shootouts in the Wild West, goodies chasing baddies, or even cowboys – although Glasgow does have it’s fair share of cowboys. This is a new dawn for policing in Scotland and we are looking at innovative new ways to tackle crime in this country. The public will be delighted to know that this equine initiative – we call it Operation Thoroughbred – is just the first of many brave, exciting new ideas. Yes, we are absolutely convinced that the public will sleep easier in their beds and will support us all the way on this. There may be a few teething problems, but Scotland’s criminals should be warned – we’re on your trail and we’re hunting you down! Tally ho!”

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