A solution to the impasse over the date of a second referendum may have been resolved. Westminster and Holyrood were heading for deadlock over the timing of a second indepedence vote, but it seems that Mrs May and Ms Sturgeon may be willing to consider a radical suggestion from a very unlikely source.
Other than being strong political leaders it would appear that Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon have little in common. But oddly enough the two women do share a passion for one pastime – and UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has come up with an idea which might just resolve the Indyref2 deadlock.
Both Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon share a love of bingo – and the UKIP leader believes this common bond can be used to find a solution to a seemingly intractable problem.
Mrs May said: “I have enjoyed playing bingo – or ‘housey, housey’ as grandmother used to call it – since my childhood days and family holidays at Margate and Southend.
“Some people may think that my proudest moment would be when I stood outside Number 10 Downing Street as only the country’s second woman Prime Minister. They would be wrong, however – my fondest memory is of a very profitable afternoon in Hastings when I won a cuddly toy, a dinner service and a collection of glassware during a prize bingo session.”
She went on: “Mr Nuttall kindly made the suggestion of having a ‘winner takes all’ bingo game to decide who gets to choose the date of the next independence referendum. Mr Nuttall apparantly invented the game while he spent all those long, lonely hours circling the planet Mars when he was an astronaut. He’s a remarkable man,
“Contrary to popular belief, I do like to take risks and I do have a sense of humour – I made Boris Foreign Secretary, after all – so I thought: why not? Let’s resolve this issue.”
Ms Sturgeon, who’s earliest bingo memories are of Largs and Millport, agrees that political diplomacy isn’t working this time and that Nuttall’s idea is worthy of consideration.
“Mt Nuttall tells ne he came up with idea while he was stranded in his tent by a blizzard for six days during a solo attempt on Mount Everest. Even in times of adversity and great danger he was thinking of others – that certainly makes him something special im my book.
“It’s clear that Westminster isn’t willing to budge on this issue and I am willing to do whatever it takes to ensure Scotland’s interests are represented. And if that means a bingo game to determine our future post-Brexit then I want to be the person with the dabber.”
A spokesman for the United Nations said: “We fully expected to be involved in negotiations to resolve this seriously difficult issue and we are very relieved that a formidable statesman like Mr Nuttall has stepped forward to offer a way through the maze.
“His credentials are impeccable: he tells us that as well as being a leading member of Liverpool’s legendary 2005 Champions League team he played key ‘behind the scenes’ roles in both the Northern Ireland peace agreement and the Middle East peace talks. With a CV like that, it would have been crazy to have refused his offer to mediate.”
Mr Nuttall (above) said: “I’m always here to help and now I’m just waiting for the call. I’ve even been reheasing a few lines for during the game: how about ‘Four and Two – we’re leaving EU’ or ‘Five and Nine – it’s the end of the line’? It should be a great event.”
There are still some details to be ironed out, however. Will the game be over two legs, with one in Scotland and the return in England – or will it be a one-off ‘winner take all’ clash in a neutral venue like Cardiff or Belfast?
Have the stakes ever been higher?: Eyes down …
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Brilliant April fool Dave but we will not be able to enact the plan because the Foreign Office game of Ludo against Spain over Gibraltar will come first.